Much of this is encapsulated by the one-minute stretch where a rock-climber / assassin / art-history professor (Clint Eastwood), on contract from an albino ex-Nazi crime lord known as Dragon, gets humped by an erect-dick-touting dog whose owner, an effeminate man with a look best described as “Cowboy Liberace,” reveals that the pet’s name is Faggot and, as he hands said pet to a scantily clad woman only ever referred to as Buns, merrily calls out, “Make sure he doesn’t rape you!”

Available to watch here.

One part was so exciting that I squeezed my legs too hard and hurt my balls.

Wow, didn't see THAT one coming!