• The Equalizer

    The Equalizer

    ★★★

    It’s kinda fun to watch people spectacularly fail at doing a Boston accent. It’s also fun to watch Denzel Washington go all Kevin McCallister in a home improvement store … Home Alone Depot, if you will.

  • Collateral

    Collateral

    ★★★

    Good script and performances but looks like it was shot on a cell phone. Also, Cruise’s fake gray hair is equal parts bad, unnecessary, and distracting.

  • Sledgehammer

    Sledgehammer

    ★★

    The acting and production are predictably bad, but the editing … wow. I would describe it as spectacularly bad editing. I think there may be more slow-motion footage than normal speed shots. Cool soundtrack though, and could be a good choice if you’re in the mood for a Z-grade shot-on-video vibe.

  • The Pit

    The Pit

    ★★

    The plot is so absurd it almost makes the movie entertaining, but mostly it’s just slow and annoying.

  • Always Shine

    Always Shine

    ★★★★

    A+ performances – especially from Davis who carried two opposite extremes in demeanor at different points – with an effectively unsettling atmosphere that builds slowly but surely. Cool editing and titles too.

    It’s definitely less of a typical “horror”, but falls squarely in the realm of “psychological thriller”.

  • Nightmare Beach

    Nightmare Beach

    ★★★

    This movie isn’t good, even by B-grade horror standards. It’s (unsurprisingly) slow and predictable with bad acting, and even the horror scenes aren’t very entertaining. But if you’re in the mood for some extremely 1980s atmosphere like I was when I watched it, it delivers very strongly.

  • The Hurt Locker

    The Hurt Locker

    Romanticizes an illegal war and somehow even spins addiction to war as being heroic. The acting may be good, but to what end? It’s basically recruitment propaganda for the US Army, punctuated at the end by a shot of a morally questionable protagonist swaggering out for another year of macho bullshit while some crappy nu-metal blares. Donald Rumsfeld must love this shit.

  • The Horror Show

    The Horror Show

    ★★

    Basically a less-good version of Shocker.

  • Save Yourselves!

    Save Yourselves!

    ★★★★

    After finishing this movie I looked at my phone to see the US Capitol was being stormed by a mob of entitled Trumpian wingnuts. It felt eerily similar to the moment in this movie when they turn their phones back on.

    Anyway, this movie is funny and it makes me miss New York. It’s like a love letter to tribblescritters, and High Maintenance – all things I like a lot.

  • The Secret Garden

    The Secret Garden

    ★★

    I never thought a fantasy movie could be so incredibly boring. Cool wallpaper though, I guess.

  • King of New York

    King of New York

    ★★

    Some good performances and cool gritty style but the plot is almost entirely pointless. It’s basically just a feature-length glorification of murder and shitbaggery, with a couple scenes of Christopher Walken dancing awkwardly.

  • Theatre of Blood

    Theatre of Blood

    ★★★

    A bit tedious after a while, but still wonderfully twisted. This role must have been written specifically for Price. I love that it allows him to take part in his usual horror satire and thespian melodrama schtick without the usual wink and grin that usually spoils it for me. The absurdity of the general plot and all the crazy scenarios are enough on their own, without needing goofy punchline indicators. It gives the movie more of a dry sense of dark humor that I prefer over the slapstick vibe in many of Price’s other movies.