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  • Trolls

    Trolls

    ★★

    i'm kin with the freaky cloud.

  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    ★★½

    i don't remember a single thing that happened in this; except for channing tatum's massive bulge.

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  • Fifty Shades Freed

    Fifty Shades Freed

    i sure hope "freed" means jamie dornan's dick is finally freed from out of camera view.

  • Fahrenheit 451

    Fahrenheit 451

    i'm gonna bust 451 fat nuts before this film even hits premiere date.