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  • Hotel Inferno

    Hotel Inferno

    ★★

    I felt like I was watching someone play a first person shooter video game with really long cutscenes which I liked at first. And then I hated it. And then all of a sudden it got really action-packed and gorey and I liked it again. I settled on hating it. The concept of this video-game-as-movie thing seems great at first and then just gets really boring.

    However I will say that with a budget so small the gore was pretty decent.

    Also, I can't imagine anyone wanting to date that girlfriend. I would have stopped answering my phone.

  • The Bay

    The Bay

    You know when you break up with someone and try to remain friends? That's how I came to watch The Bay. I was told it was a really great movie and because I was sad, and this would give us something fresh to talk about, I watched it. This led to a very long inner dialogue with myself about how I overlooked so many things, like his love for bad movies that aren't good-bad. Clearly, it could never have worked.…

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  • Basket Case

    Basket Case

    ★★★★★

    This is the difference between an incredible idea with no budget and no idea and an incredible budget.

    The incredible idea is a man carries around his twin brother, who he was separated at birth from, in a basket hoping to seek revenge on the doctors who forcibly separated them. On top of that we have the normal brother being able to live a normal life and the basket brother is full of hate. But he's also kind of sad…

  • District 9

    District 9

    ★★★★

    District 9 is possibly the best mockumentary I've ever seen.

    The initial interviews at the beginning of the film look so real. As we dive into the story itself each character comes off so believable it would have been impossible for me not to get lost in this story. Even the CGI aliens looked so believably real. More importantly this is one of the few films where aliens are depicted as just like us.They're just trying to get by against…