xXx: Return of Xander Cage ★★★

2017 Ranked
Non-2019 First Time Watches Ranked

"X looks out for his own."

Yes, this movie is stupid. Incredibly fucking stupid. But I can't deny, it's a hell of a lot of fun.

The thing I liked about this is that it knows exactly what it's trying to be. This isn't some cheesy action flick trying to be all deep and meaningful. Nah, this is just a cheesy action flick with plenty of guns, fight scenes and chicks in bikinis. It's stupid but also tonally consistent, and I give it props for that.

I also give props to Vin Diesel. I've been pretty critical of him over the last few years, minus a film here or there, as he seems to be just going through the motions ala Bruce Willis in his straight-to-DVD career. Don't get me wrong, you aren't going to mistake Vin for some serious thespian but he looks like he is having a blast filming this, which is more than I can say for the last two Furious films. The rest of the cast were great too, although I feel like Tony Jaa was seriously under-utilised. Donnie Yen was fantastic though and I'm curious as to why he doesn't have that Jackie Chan or Jet Li type career in the USA yet.

The story is really basic, like my son could've written it...maybe minus all the sex stuff...and there is some truly horrible CGI but if you want to kill two hours while not using your brain, this is a perfect way to do that.