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  • Batman Forever

    Batman Forever

    ★★★★

    Watching this was an absolute delight- a vibrant, colorful, comic book, beat-em-up that's gleefully unburdened by the dour self-seriousness that's overwhelmed most modern comic book cinema. The material is pure escapism, and it's always going to be goofier when taken deathly serious, because at the end of the day- Bruce Wayne is still a grown-ass man who dresses up like a bat to punch out baddies.

    That is an inherently absurd premise that works best when surrounded by atmosphere and…

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  • RoboCop 2

    RoboCop 2

    ★★★½

    For every great 80's blockbuster, there were dozens of knock-offs and z-grade 'remakes'. For their collective lack of talent and quality, they were ruthlessly entertaining- pulling out all the visceral stops to try and grab an audiences attention. Sure, they're not good movies, but they often entertain in a delightfully 'popcorn' manner.

    RoboCop 2 feels like it bears a similar relationship to RoboCop. It's no masterpiece, but by god it's really damn fun. You wouldn't hold 1990: The Bronx Warriors…

  • RoboCop

    RoboCop

    ★★★★★

    Undeniably a five star affair. Murphy might have undergone a full-body prosthesis to become RoboCop, but Paul Verhoeven saved his heart. Murphy's arc from man to machine to 'man' again is phenomenally executed and still makes me wanna cheer by the end. I also adore the Basil Poledouris score so much- as it waxes between profound human tragedy and brassy triumphant payback, it's utterly iconic and exceptionally memorable.

    Apropos of nothing, I'd like to point out that Peter Weller was…

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  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I really really liked this movie when I first saw it. Throughout 2016, I really really liked this movie. But, last night, my opinion of it got major complicated. I've always excused or explained its copycatting of A New Hope as a necessary move because fans were bitter about the prequels. But, fuck fans. If this is what they brought the franchise down to, fuck them.

    All three prequels were better than this movie. They at least showed us new…

  • Spider

    Spider

    ★★★★

    Wow, this movie is like if David Cronenberg's The Fly and Andrzej Żuławski's Posession had a Russian/Latvian baby in the 90's, and it was christened by Ken Russell. In short, it's fucking crazy. It's about a young woman named Vita who's picked out by a local artist to model for his commissioned painting of the Virgin Mary. The local priest is wary, but agrees that it's for a good cause. The movie wastes no time plunging Vita into a psycho-sexual…