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  • The Libertine

    The Libertine


    Judging by syntax, Libertine means overly long and boring.
    If you want a movie that drains all of Johnny Depp's screen presence, this is the movie for you.
    Not much happens on a scene by scene basis, but the period costumes are nice to look at for about 20 minutes.
    Even John Malkovich looks more bored than normal.
    Perhaps he saw this before it was released.

  • Don't Think Twice

    Don't Think Twice


    A movie about an improv group that isn't as annoying as you'd expect considering it's about an improv group.
    More touching than you'd imagine considering it's about an improv group.
    I have nothing about actual improv groups except that one of them killed my family as they were caught in a crossfire.
    Maybe they weren't an improv group. Maybe they were terrorists.
    My story is told in the mediocre action movie Without Remorse with Michael B. Jordan playing me except I'm not black.
    Don't think twice about seeing this unless you're family was killed by an improv group.

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