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  • The Strangers

    The Strangers

    #16 in 2018's Hoop-tober festivities.

    So... I've been writing this same review over, and over, and over. For years. My patented: This is Why Millennial Horror Sucks review. I've lost track of how many times I've restarted it. Revamped it. Reworded it. When I first had to break the news (though I believe it started around 10 years ago in my comments at the bottom of several Slant Magazine reviews of films like Dead Snow and the remake of Piranha,…

  • Spring Break

    Spring Break


    Representation. Turns out, it's a hair more complex than offering a wide array of straight male stereotypes in one "mission to get laid" clique: the nerd/Nice Guy, the "class" clown, the jock, and the wild man.

    In this very much forgotten (except to a small number of people streaming this on Amazon Prime, or who may have scooped the film up on a recent Mill Creek 10-movie DVD set; "Life's a Beach" released last year) 80's sex-comedy from one of…

Popular reviews

  • Sleepaway Camp

    Sleepaway Camp


    This review was written in 2011, I believe:

    How many times is a rip-off able to surpass the thing it owes its' existence to? Only two films come to mind (Piranha is the other). Friday the 13th had great pieces but really didn't come together to be the best it could be (though it's still a personal favorite and always will be). Sleepaway Camp aims lower but nonetheless passes with Sleaze Honors. In the arena of so-bad-it's-good horror movies -…

  • Jurassic Park

    Jurassic Park


    #63 in my 99 90's Movies month.

    Excitement and danger come first, characters come second. Which is totally okay in Spielbergia. Though those kids are incredibly annoying at times. ("Vegiesaurus! Meatasaurus!" ...Really, movie?) And some of the drama is pretty seriously forced down your throat (Laura Dern before eating the ice cream, Attenborough's super-scream on the telephone, Jeff Goldblum... in general, that kid and the tree climbing, and the fence jumping). But it is exciting and it never did skimp on the danger, did it? Holds up surprisingly well. I probably never enjoyed it this much.