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  • The Conjuring

    The Conjuring

    Pile of shit.

    Feel free to @ me all you want, with everything you've got. But, this is a pile of shit.

  • Hairspray

    Hairspray

    ★★★★

    I've been thinking a lot over quite a few years now about the phenomenon of white people not being such great people in the realm of identity politics and social media. To be specific, the people who influenced me (in this case) to think more in-the-moment about what I say and how it looks. And, wow, I don't want to name names. Even more than I want to use the phrase "name names" (sorry, Daria) and I'll try my best…

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  • Sleepaway Camp

    Sleepaway Camp

    ★★★★

    This review was written in 2011, I believe:

    How many times is a rip-off able to surpass the thing it owes its' existence to? Only two films come to mind (Piranha is the other). Friday the 13th had great pieces but really didn't come together to be the best it could be (though it's still a personal favorite and always will be). Sleepaway Camp aims lower but nonetheless passes with Sleaze Honors. In the arena of so-bad-it's-good horror movies -…

  • Jurassic Park

    Jurassic Park

    ★★★★

    #63 in my 99 90's Movies month.

    Excitement and danger come first, characters come second. Which is totally okay in Spielbergia. Though those kids are incredibly annoying at times. ("Vegiesaurus! Meatasaurus!" ...Really, movie?) And some of the drama is pretty seriously forced down your throat (Laura Dern before eating the ice cream, Attenborough's super-scream on the telephone, Jeff Goldblum... in general, that kid and the tree climbing, and the fence jumping). But it is exciting and it never did skimp on the danger, did it? Holds up surprisingly well. I probably never enjoyed it this much.