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  • The Beguiled

    The Beguiled

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    Between this and Phantom Thread, 2017 was the year that the humble mushroom finally got its moment in the spotlight.

    Basically the civil war version of The Bachelor.

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  • Nashville

    Nashville

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    Lily Tomlin's face as she hears that song being performed for her is everything.

    Oh and that scene where the girl has to strip to further her singing career is raw, man.

  • The Beach Bum

    The Beach Bum

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    Moondog is just pretty much just an annoying cunt, right?

    Most of this film just gave me uncomfortable flashbacks to late nights that turned into early mornings walking the beach back home completely twisted and bumping into early morning risers and old people looking at me with disgust.

    I loved Spring Breakers, and this is sort of the uplifting opposite twin to that film, but the two stars here are solely for Jonah Hill's ridiculous accent.

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  • London Has Fallen

    London Has Fallen

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    This film lacked plausibility, because when they got off the plane it was sunny in London.

    "So why don't you boys pack up your shit and head back to Fuckheadastan or wherever you're from"

  • Short Term 12

    Short Term 12

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    How in God's name did this film manage to do that!? In the first ten minutes I had heavy reservations, and by the end I was a blubbering joyful mess, and it was all done so economically and so... humbly. There was nothing here that didn't serve the characters or the story.

    Lakeith Stanfield, Rami Malik, Stephanie Beatriz... Cool to see some faces that have become very familiar in the years since, but let's not kid ourselves, this is Brie Larson's show, and she is a fucking powerhouse in this.