"I was a very sensitive child. The list of things that would have me scuttling to sleep in parents’ bed is endless. I remember standing in my parents’ driveway throwing gravel at the kitchen window while everyone laughed at Eerie Indiana on our Trinitron. Or the incredibly mild teaser for The Outer Limits that featured only a black dot increasing in size on a white background, as an ominous note played over a voiceover. That was enough to haunt me…

"I’ve already accepted that one day I will be punched. You’ve probably made the same decision yourself, but it’s likely you haven’t realised it yet.

I’m not a confrontational person, and I don’t like to offer my opinion to people I don’t know (on the other hand, friends – and you, reading this – groan under the weight of my views). I don’t Tweet about politics and I usually kick myself later for not intervening when someone is imposing in…