• The Florida Project

    The Florida Project

    ★★★★★

    “These are the rooms we're not supposed to go in. But let's go anyways!”

    The Florida Project is a triumph. That is probably a predictable thing to say but Sean Baker’s slice of life tragedy centring around the characters at the Magic Kingdom motel is nothing short of a masterpiece. The cast are spectacular, including some of the best child actors I have ever seen, the script is delightful and the filmmaking strikes and effortless balance between brutally realistic and…

  • Jurassic Park

    Jurassic Park

    ★★★★★

    “Life finds a way.”

    As I was lying on my couch tonight enjoying a rewatch of the 1985 classic Doctor Who serial Revelation of the Daleks (to be reviewed some day soon), my roommate returned home from a trip to the cinema. I asked him what he saw and his answer was the latest, Universal blockbuster; Jurassic World: Dominion

    I asked him if he enjoyed the picture at all. 

    He did not. 

    However, my ears pricked immediately at the revelation…

  • They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

    They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

    ★★★★★

    “Do you want to dance?”
    “Go to hell.”

    God, this was bleak. Sydney Pollack’s They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? is one of the most harrowing watches I have ever had. Telling the story of two desperate characters and their attempt to win a dance marathon in Depression-era America, the film is relentlessly brutal and scathingly clever. 

    This is one of the best realised, however on the nose, allegories I have seen in a film and almost certainly one of the…

  • Pretty Woman

    Pretty Woman

    ★★★★

    “People put you down enough, you start to believe it.”

    This is really a tale as old as time. J. F. Lawton and Garry Marshall’s contemporary retelling of My Fair Lady (which is, in turn, a retelling of the play Pygmalion) is very charming, very sweet and delightfully entertaining. Very tastefully navigating themes of classism and prejudice, it should be no surprise to anybody that Pretty Woman was a runaway success. While it never really treads any new ground or offers…

  • Crimes and Misdemeanors

    Crimes and Misdemeanors

    ★★½

    “It’s very hard to get your heart and head together in life. In my case, they’re not even friendly.”

    I think that the most definitive parameter by which to judge Woody Allen films is how long the picture feels to watch. In the case of Crimes and Misdemeanours, it certainly feels like a longer viewing. Following in the more dramatic, existential footsteps of Hannah and Her Sisters, Crimes and Misdemeanours tells the story of two men from very different worlds…

  • Shallow Grave

    Shallow Grave

    ★★★★

    “When you get up in the morning, how do you decide what shade of black to wear?”

    The debut, feature-length effort from Danny Boyle proved immediately that he would be a master at his chosen craft. Not just filmmaking but, more specifically, telling stories about the miserable, bleak and addled lives of every day people in Britain after being entangled in horrific situations. Shallow Grave is a compelling and witty examination of three extreme personalities wading through trauma in the…

  • Doctor Who: Galaxy 4

    Doctor Who: Galaxy 4

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    “My dear young man, this isn't a joy ride! This is a scientific expedition!”

    In contrast with the three seasons that followed him, William Hartnell’s run on Doctor Who has been pretty well archived. As fans well know, the BBC’s lack of foresight and policy of junking used tapes hit Doctor Who pretty hard and a great deal of classic stories from the 1960s have been lost forever. Now, however, in 2022, the fandom can happily come together with the…

  • Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

    Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

    i hate everything about this. literally everything.

  • Logan

    Logan

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    “Someone will come along.”
    “Someone has come along.”

    Logan is just relentlessly bleak. From the moment it begins, this is a gruelling, brutal and exhausting experience. By the time it ends, it is hard to think of any other word to describe it with besides ‘harrowing’. It almost makes me uncomfortable to talk about it. Not because it is bad, far from it, but simply because it is just such a moving and gripping experience. 

    Taking place, like a lot…

  • When Harry Met Sally...

    When Harry Met Sally...

    ★★★★★

    “Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn't possibly all have good taste.”

    How do you know you’ve met the right person? How do you know it’s ever going to work? Aren’t relationships all kind of banal and futile anyway? Like every single person in their twenties, these are the kind of thoughts I find myself ruminating on a hell of a lot. So much so, for that matter, that I actually spent the…

  • Doctor Who: Pyramids of Mars

    Doctor Who: Pyramids of Mars

    ★★★★

    "Your evil is my good. I am the Sutekh the Destroyer. Where I tread I leave nothing but dust and darkness. I find that good."

    There are some things, though not many, that the Doctor Who fandom seems to universally agree on. Everybody seems to agree that the Weeping Angels are a great villain. Everybody seems onboard with the notion that The Caves of Androzani is one of the best stories of all time. Everybody seems to agree that the…

  • Don's Party

    Don's Party

    ★★★★

    “Your wife, mate, your wife is one of the great bourgeois monsters of our time!”

    In 2022, it would probably be depressing for many to see just how relevant Don’s Party is. Adapted by David Williamson from his play of the same name, the story of a colourful group of Australian hypocrites getting pissed on election night, awaiting the death of the conservative government, rings very poignant today. What works so well about this story, primarily, are the characters. Each…