ObiWanJabronie

“I like Kools. Minty flavor.”
He/Him
Recording everything I watch starting May 2021. 
I stand by absolutely none of my reviews.

Favorite films

  • Throne of Blood
  • To Live and Die in L.A.
  • Crimson Tide
  • The Grand Budapest Hotel

Recent activity

All
  • The Martian

    ★★★★½

  • Pulse

    ★★★★

  • Raiders of the Lost Ark

    ★★★★★

  • Independence Day

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • The Martian

    The Martian

    ★★★★½

    Physicists, when describing things like acceleration, do not use the word "fast". So they're only doing that in the hopes that I won't raise any objections to this lunacy, because I like the way "fastest man in the history of space travel" sounds. I do like the way it sounds... I mean, I like it a lot.

    The Martian is, for my money, one of the ten most rewatchable movies of all time. No matter where I turn it on…

  • Pulse

    Pulse

    ★★★★

    People don’t really connect, you know.

    Kiyoshi Kurosawa stays the king of creepiness through dispassionate violence. 

    In a movie about a ghost invasion, perhaps the most unrealistic plot element was Ryosuke actually reading his internet service provider’s Terms of Service.

Popular reviews

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  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★½

    “Where am I?”
    “Earth.”

    I am a massive, massive fan of the original Top Gun. I was confident the sequel would be a fun trip down Nostalgia Lane, but I wasn’t sure it would be a certifiably excellent action movie in its own right. But it is! It genuinely outdoes the original. Shame on me for doubting Cruise.

    Maverick has everything you want it to have: astonishing aerial camera work, fun nods to the original, solid supporting performances, a lot of laughs,…

  • Raiders of the Lost Ark

    Raiders of the Lost Ark

    ★★★★★

    “It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.”

    In times like these it’s extremely important to remember to take the time to watch movies where a lot of nazis get fucking annihilated.

    Karen Allen in silk >>>>>.