Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom ★★

Fallen Kingdom is an absolute narrative failure. The movie sits on an intriguing concept (dino island rescue mission) and delivers a solid summer blockbuster set piece with it. But the script just does not care about any of it.

The movie feels like the producers brainstormed a list of random sequel ideas after Jurassic World, taped them to a board, threw darts until they hit two unrelated plots, then pushed them together into one movie.

There are plot reveals that are pretty silly but also lead absolutely nowhere. Owen and Claire have no identifiable character arcs in the movie, despite dialogue existing in the movie to half-assed set up character development that ultimately goes nowhere.

The villains of the movie are kind of fun but the end of their arcs felt really unsatisfying. One in particular is set up to be a foil for a main character, leading you to think they'll have some kind of showdown or even just a scene to pay off the villainous tension. But they don't and, like a lot of pieces of this movie, it goes nowhere.

Despite the trailers, Goldblum is a cameo and not in the movie much at all. When he's onscreen, there's not much context given. But I guess the dialogue is cool?

The two sidekicks that Claire brought on the adventure fell flat to me also.

But Chris Pratt is pretty fun in the role. It shows that his movie star charisma really can elevate a movie. Honestly, his interactions with Blue resonated with me as a pet owner. Which I'm sure sounds a bit ridiculous but it's the only part of the movie I could latch onto.

All in all, Fallen Kingdom was forgettable, despite a couple barely worth mentioning things that elevate it. I doubt I'll ever see it again.

Podcast Review: OV241 – Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom – AMC A-List v MoviePass, Mindhunter Season 1, Sicario 2, and the Vegas Wager