Mansquito ★½

2017 Cult Movie Challenge

Week 24: Syfy Week

In a research lab which is part of the fight to try and combat an outbreak of a new and very deadly virus, a convicted prisoner is being delivered who has agreed to being used as a guinea pig. Naturally he breaks loose, there's a fight, explosions, shit gets thrown everywhere and hey presto! Mansquito is born. Mayhem ensues.

Is this sort of thing normal practice? I don't know, it seems to be ethically questionable and rather dangerous. Plus, what's in it for the felon?

So what does the lab actually do? Well, here's The Science Bit:
They “...use radiation to delicately alter the DNA of mosquitoes.” I'm sure you'll agree with me that that statement requires no further explanation.

In any case, as the film begins you may be thinking to yourself that this is a harmless piece of nonsense, that is very obviously inspired by The Fly and be prepared to give it the benefit of the doubt, turn off your brain and just let it wash over you.

But the film is not going to allow you to do that, instead it is going to wash away any vestige of possible goodwill towards in one fell swoop. The lady scientist, who is attractive in exactly the sort of way that regular people aren't, is in the bathroom naked, except for the one towel around her waist and another one draped around her neck to strategically cover her boobs. It might not sound like it from my description but this is the single most heinous piece of cock-teasery it has been my misfortune to witness in many a year. And it's just not good enough. There is no excuse for that kind of behaviour.

As the body count rises the cops know precisely who's responsible. How? I don't know. The bodies are all bloody and mutilated and the detective himself informs us that the guy's m.o is multiple gunshot wounds (that's being shot, to you and me), so that makes no sense.

Along the way the lady scientist is also infected, although not in any way that's going to make her less attractive and that opens up a sort of Alien 3 kind of thing where the Mansquito doesn't harm her because he know's she is kindred, or something like that.

It's not long before the movie descends into nothing more than lots and lots of chasing around for a very, very long time, with the film being entirely predictable and fairly insufferable and with the Mansquito proving to be totally indestructible, until it isn't. The end.