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  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    ★★½

    Talked about on a recent episode of the Failed Critics Podcast, but in short:

    It's ok. It's fine. It's a Disney ride made into pictures, which has some light-hearted fun moments in it, like all good popcorn family blockbusters should (such as the opening bank heist) but ultimately it's just a bit boring. I'm sure for kids of a certain age who it is primarily aimed at, they'll find it scary, exciting, and funny in equal measure. For me, it didn't utilise Javier Bardem as well as it could, Depp was pretty much same-old Depp, and Geoffrey Rush alleviated some of the yawn-inducing drama.

  • War Machine

    War Machine

    ★★★½

    So I saw a couple of comments cropping up in a few different places online about a new Netflix Original movie, called War Machine, written and directed by the Australian filmmaker David Michôd. These comments were... not good.

    For example, a friend said: "I got 1 hour into the Pitt movie before I sacked it off, it's utter shite".

    I saw a lot of other comments along these lines too: "I got 30 minutes in and packed it in", and…

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  • Crash

    Crash

    Wow what a revelation. Apparently black people can be racist of white people, white people can be racist of black people, black people can be racist of black people, black people can be racist of hispanic people, white people can be racist of middle-eastern people, middle eastern people can be racist of hispanic people, hispanic people are nice, white people can't be racist of white people.

    BUT.

    Those same black people can be nice to white people, those white people…

  • First Blood

    First Blood

    ★★★★

    I kind of thought it would be a mindless action film where Sly goes around killing the bad guys in the jungle with his machine gun and that's about it. Like Predator, I guess, just without the Predator.

    I was wrong. It's excellent. I found it very entertaining, and also quite sad. Sure, Rambo is this bad-ass, super elite soldier who can kill a man practically by looking at him with his wonky face, but I never realised there was…