• Branded

    Branded

    ★★★

    Misha works as manager for an American marketing company in Moscow. His latest campaign is for a reality TV show where a slightly overweight woman volunteered to be turned into a skinny supermodel through extensive plastic surgery. Misha’s project becomes the target of a powerful adversary, though, and soon after he discovers that this is only part of an astonishing phenomenon where company brand names and symbols have taken on a strange life of their own.

    Russian movies are barely…

  • Walker

    Walker

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    William Walker is the self-proclaimed savior of Nicaragua. With financial support from railroad tycoon Cornelius Vanderbilt he leads a squad of mercenaries into the country, overthrows the government, and installs himself as president. Before long, his volatile temperament and erratic behavior plunge the country and his people into unimaginable suffering.

    Walker is based on the biography of William Walker, who appointed himself president of Nicaragua in 1856 after invading the country. And while the key fact of his invasion of…

  • Karate Kill

    Karate Kill

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Kenji hasn’t heard from his sister Mayumi since she moved from Japan to Los Angeles, so he travels to the US to search for her. He finds out that she got involved with a local Yakuza boss, and has gone missing. Kenji picks up her trail, and with his almost superhuman karate skills he violently disposes of everyone that stands between him and her rescue.

    Karate Kill was directed by Kurando Mitsutake who created a fairly extreme piece of Japanese…

  • Night of Something Strange

    Night of Something Strange

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A janitor has sex with a deceased corpse in a hospital, and contracts a disease that turns him into a sex-addicted zombie. At the same time, a group of teenagers are en route to their spring break vacation. With sex and drugs being high on their agenda, they violently cross paths with the zombie at a motel, whose owners also display some rather eerie behavior.

    The zombie movie genre has been oversaturated with movies and TV series in the last…

  • The Ugly Swans

    The Ugly Swans

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The writer Victor Banev is sent on a mission as a UN observer to the city of Tashlinsk. A weather anomaly casts the town in constant rain and darkness, and a group of cloaked, uncanny people, the Wetters has appeared there. The Wetters have taken the children of the local boarding school under their wings, among them Victor’s daughter. Since then, the children have developed extraordinary intellectual abilities and even supernatural powers, and are perceived as a threat by the…

  • Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God

    Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The undead wizard Damodar obtains possession of a magical orb that has the power to restore his human form again, and to awaken an ancient dragon god. With the dragon's help he seeks to destroy the kingdom of Izmir. Damodar's machinations are noticed by Lord Berek of Izmir and his wife Melora, a wizard. Melora is cursed by Damodar, and slowly turns into an undead creature. A party of heroes is assembled with the task to retrieve the orb, defeat…

  • Highway to Hell

    Highway to Hell

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Charlie and Rachel are on their way to Las Vegas to get married, and take a deserted road as a shortcut. They are suddenly assaulted by a monstrous creature, the Hell Cop, who abducts Rachel. Charlie follows him through a portal to hell, and must face plenty of dangers on the road to Hell City to rescue his fiancé.

    Highway to Hell is based on one of the early scripts from Brian Helgeland, who moved into blockbuster territory afterwards, both…

  • Screamers

    Screamers

    ★★★½

    The mining planet Sirius 6B has been ravaged by a war between two competing companies, the NEB and The Alliance. The war has decimated the personnel on both sides and devastated the production facilities. Alliance commander Joe Hendricksson receives a NEB message with an offer for truce and safe passage through their territory. He travels through the radioactively contaminated wasteland towards the enemy base, constantly on the watch to avoid attacks of autonomous combat machines called Screamers. During his journey…

  • The Dentist

    The Dentist

    ★★★½

    A visit to the dentist is a rather unpleasant experience in many cases. The pain from drilling and injections, and the uneasy feeling of losing control when someone is tinkering with your mouth all contribute to this perception. The portrayal of these issues can be quite terrifying in itself even without adding a horror theme to it. Brian Yuzna, who delighted audiences with many tasteless movies throughout his career, took the opportunity of closing this gap in horror movie history.…

  • Eliminators

    Eliminators

    ★★★½

    Eliminators can be considered Charles Band's and Empire Pictures' first venture into family-friendly entertainment. While Eliminators certainly is okay to watch for kids, it also accommodates character templates like ninjas and cyborgs that were part of the emerging action movie genre aimed at adult audiences. Eliminators seems to be like every kid's and B-movie fan's dream as the appearance of a cyborg, a ninja, cannibals, and a bunch of Sci-Fi nonsense in a single movie was hard to come by…

  • The Vagrant

    The Vagrant

    ★★★

    Chris Walas worked in the special effects department for several movies in the 1980s, including Gremlins and The Fly. He also directed two films, one was the sequel to The Fly, and the other one was the The Vagrant. The alleged danger posed by suspicious activities of the neighbors next door was staged brilliantly by Joe Dante in The Burbs, which came out three years earlier. The Vagrant picks this topic up again in his own way. Instead of creepy…

  • Showdown in Little Tokyo

    Showdown in Little Tokyo

    ★★★½

    Mark L. Lester spent his whole career making fairly dumb movies with a few exceptions. He is now mostly known for directing the totally bonkers Arnold Schwarzenegger flick Commando. This movie was a complete exaggeration of 1980s action movie tropes even for its time I would say. It was so absurd that it renders the contemporary parodies of the genre like Commando Ninja and King Fury almost unnecessary.

    Even so, several of Lester's movies have high entertainment value and one…