• Offseason

    Offseason

    ★★★½

    Nothing revolutionary, but an interesting take on the "Lovecraft but different" sort of film. Performances are pretty solid, a lot of the camera work is strangely old and charming for it in places. The fact this is a tight just under 90 minutes helps it not overstay its welcome and maximizes the percentage of this that features Richard Brake in his usual role of "vaguely unsettling man who talks at length".

  • RRR

    RRR

    ★★★★½

    I was pitched this as "what if a marvel movie wasn't awful?" and frankly I was not prepared. This is a wild ride start to finish and was a real joy. Sure some of the cgi looks a bit suspect, sure some of the english dialogue's a bit odd, but man, those things pale in comparison to how in your face, bold and FUN this is. In an era of deeply boring and identical action films, this is a real treat.

  • The Spine of Night

    The Spine of Night

    ★★★★

    More fantasy films should refuse to explain what's happening more often.

  • The Village

    The Village

    ★½

    Lmao, lol

  • Countdown

    Countdown

    ★★

    Very much so trash, but honestly the creature design rules and I've seen way worse teen horror. So trash, but the good kind.

  • The Possession of Hannah Grace

    The Possession of Hannah Grace

    ★★★★

    I might just be a sucker for a slow little movie about a dead body since I also love Autopsy of Jane Doe but I had fun with this. The decision to use the very recognizable Boston city hall for a hospital though is baffling to me. This is the horror metaphor for addiction that midnight mass wished it could be.

  • Insidious: Chapter 3

    Insidious: Chapter 3

    ★★

    Big poopy sequel

  • Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    ★★★

    Love that this is the place Tom Hardy has decided to land his ship, neurotic weirdo who's in love with the gay goo inside him. Good heartwarming shit.

  • Titane

    Titane

    ★★★★½

    All time banger. Do I fully understand it? Fuck no. Did I fully enjoy it? 100%

  • Kimi

    Kimi

    ★★★½

    It might not stick the landing with the kinda odd tonal shift towards the end, but if I can just get other random Hitchcock movies updated like this, I'd be happy. The soundtrack feels like a lost soundtrack from the 50s or 60s and the cinematography is fun. Went in low on this and left surprisingly happy.

  • The Colony

    The Colony

    The most blandly bleak and boring take on the oncoming apocalypse. Just absolutely a waste of the viewer's time, aesthetically banal and wantonly cruel for no real purpose or catharsis with weird fucked up vibes pervading the whole thing.

  • Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

    Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

    ★★

    A film baffling in both politics and aesthetics. Fight scenes pulled from anime with cgi everywhere to allow for the sheer absurdity of scale and impossibility, the assertion that slaveowners were influenced by vampires. I'm uncertain if it knows the antisemitic tropes it plays into or is too busy trying to be neoliberal revisionism of mid 1800s American politics, but it was fascinating to watch it try to tackle what it was trying to do. The fact that it didn't show a vampire John Wilkes booth assassinating Lincoln is frankly a shock to me.

    Insanely messy but fascinating as a relic.