Simon Ong

Screenwriter / Actor / Comedian / Hack

Favorite films

  • The Wizard of Oz
  • 2001: A Space Odyssey
  • Mad Max: Fury Road
  • Your Name.

Recent activity

  • Uncharted


  • Lightyear


  • Minions: The Rise of Gru

  • Speed Racer


Recent reviews

  • Uncharted


    Pretty boring. There are parts that I think actually might have looked better if they’d been a PlayStation 5 game

  • Lightyear


    Still the world’s absolute dumbest conceit.

    Completely inoffensive and unremarkable in its execution. Don’t care enough to be mad about it

Popular reviews

  • Charlotte's Web

    Charlotte's Web

    As a society, we don’t talk enough about the rat’s musical number in this.

  • Christmas Belle

    Christmas Belle

    There is a deeply fascinating secret in this movie. For most of the film, it is dreck. Unforgivable garbage that made me grieve for the death of art.

    However, at about the 70-minute mark, something astonishing happens. First, there is a sequence that all of a sudden looks like a piece of auteur cinema. Dynamic lighting, great use of color, it’s like you’re in a whole different movie. 

    Second, and more importantly, immediately after this sequence, there is the single…