This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
1. I feel like I just sat through a two-hour recap of Hellboy seasons 1-3.
2. Out of the two 2019 movies where I got to see Ian McShane's final moments, I much prefer his bedside cursing of the lord almighty in Deadwood to his becoming a loogied turd-worm corpse puppet here. Diff'rent strokes, I guess.
3. I did enjoy Daimio pulling a Frank Reynolds and confusing his personal history with the plot of Predator.
4. Wear a mask.
5. First chance I've had to sit down and watch an entire movie by myself since the pandemic began. I chose Hellboy. I accept your judgment.