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  • Hellboy

    Hellboy

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    1. I feel like I just sat through a two-hour recap of Hellboy seasons 1-3.

    2. Out of the two 2019 movies where I got to see Ian McShane's final moments, I much prefer his bedside cursing of the lord almighty in Deadwood to his becoming a loogied turd-worm corpse puppet here. Diff'rent strokes, I guess.

    3. I did enjoy Daimio pulling a Frank Reynolds and confusing his personal history with the plot of Predator.

    4. Wear a mask.

    5. First chance I've had to sit down and watch an entire movie by myself since the pandemic began. I chose Hellboy. I accept your judgment.

  • Bad Education

    Bad Education

    ★★★½

    You expected anything different from a high school where Paimon is the editor of the school paper?

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  • Geostorm

    Geostorm

    ★½

    Back in 1994 I had a huge crush on a cheerleader at my high school named Ginger Jordan. The odds were decidedly not in my favor; I was a pudgy, oily-skinned, Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker-obsessed sophomore, while Ginger was a senior, one of the most popular students at the school, and only a few months away from heading off to college at UGA. Ginger tolerated my presence in a court-jester-to-the-queen sort of way—we shared the same drama class, during which I would use…

  • Harmontown

    Harmontown

    ★½

    I'm guessing it was around half an hour into Neil Berkeley's Harmontown that I realized I wasn't a very big fan of Dan Harmon. Yeah, I like the spur-of-the-moment looseness of his Harmontown podcast, but I'm more entertained by his show "comptroller" Jeff Davis and his dungeonmaster Spencer Crittenden (part of the show is an ongoing game of Dungeons & Dragons) than by Harmon himself. He comes off as alternately clever and whiny, with the latter overtaking the former as the…