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  • King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

    King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

    ★★

    King Arthur: Legend of the Sword is:

    A) Arthurian legend as imagined as a Nineties Guess Jeans add, or

    B) Arthurian legend as imagined by an eleven-year-old who just discovered Jackson's Lord of the Rings. And crack.

    Take your pick. Either choice is worse than the other.

  • Small Crimes

    Small Crimes

    ★★★½

    Not sure what it is about E.L. Katz’s seedy, scuzzbucket protagonists that appeal to me more than most modern-day indie noir antiheroes, but, man, I’m pickin’ up what he’s puttin’ down. While not quite the same exhilarating trip through id-powered greedy self-effacement as the criminally underrated Cheap Thrills, Katz’s Netflix-only follow-up Small Crimes works as a tense, small-scale potboiler of dirty cops, dirtier ex-cons, and ye olde textbook destructive narcissism, a twisty tale less concerned with narrative cohesion than it…

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  • Geostorm

    Geostorm

    ★½

    Back in 1994 I had a huge crush on a cheerleader at my high school named Ginger Jordan. The odds were decidedly not in my favor; I was a pudgy, oily-skinned, Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker-obsessed sophomore, while Ginger was a senior, one of the most popular students at the school, and only a few months away from heading off to college at UGA. Ginger tolerated my presence in a court-jester-to-the-queen sort of way—we shared the same drama class, during which I would use…

  • Hidden Figures

    Hidden Figures

    ★★½

    [NOTE: So this write-up turned into the longest thing I've written for Letterboxd yet—longer even than my goddamned Stalker review—which is probably the only reason I'm actually putting it on the site. It's problematic, likely guilty of whitesplaining and mansplaining, and really doesn't give a fair shake to Hidden Figures or its adherents. But, seeing as only about five people actually read my stuff, and three of them will no doubt see this review's length and give it a hearty…