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  • The Church

    The Church

    ★★

    Never a good sign when a two-hour church-themed horror movie ends up duller than an hour of actual church. So it goes with Michele Soavi’s The Church, a film that mixes the occasional inspired moment of nutty Italian weirdness—a random fish demon biting a dude’s face off, a winsome young lass splattering against the windshield of a speeding subway train—with long, long, looooong stretches of expository blabbering, most of it meant to gloss over the fact that the final thirty…

  • Firebase

    Firebase

    ★★½

    Best idea and worst execution of the Oats Studios short films thus far. The story's about as wonderfully high-concept as a horror fan could hope --a Vietnamese farmer gets godlike reality-altering powers to wage war against American forces in post-Tet Vietnam--but it feels like four TV seasons' worth of plotlines crammed into one 26-minute snippet, like Lost if it was released only as a half-hour YouTube supercut. Doesn't help that Blomkamp indulges every Vietnam cliche imaginable--yep, "Fortunate Son" shows up--and…

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  • Hidden Figures

    Hidden Figures

    ★★½

    [NOTE: So this write-up turned into the longest thing I've written for Letterboxd yet—longer even than my goddamned Stalker review—which is probably the only reason I'm actually putting it on the site. It's problematic, likely guilty of whitesplaining and mansplaining, and really doesn't give a fair shake to Hidden Figures or its adherents. But, seeing as only about five people actually read my stuff, and three of them will no doubt see this review's length and give it a hearty…

  • Kingsman: The Secret Service

    Kingsman: The Secret Service

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    For almost a week now I’ve been mulling over Kingsman: The Secret Service, trying to figure out the source for my ire towards Matthew Vaughn’s over-the-top spy-movie satire. Of course, with the film's misogyny, its derivativeness of smarter, better films, or its subtle racism, there's plenty of fodder for vitriol. But all of these flaws, while unfortunate, are nothing new or shocking, rather serving as further examples of the increasingly repetitive nature of all these goddamn comic book movies constantly…