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  • Alien: Resurrection

    Alien: Resurrection

    ★★

    If the unrelenting anti-blockbuster pessimism of Fincher’s Alien³ marked the perfect place for disgruntled fans of the series to abandon ship, then Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s Alien: Resurrection stands as the final burble of the franchise as it descends into the dark depths of shark-jumping inanity. Hard to fathom what Jeunet and writer Joss Whedon were thinking when they fashioned together this crap; appears they wanted to revive the action-heavy militarism of Cameron’s Aliens by mixing it with some good ol’ Nineties…

  • Alien³

    Alien³

    ★★★½

    Theatrical Cut: 3 stars
    Assembly Cut: 3.5 stars

    ASSEMBLY CUT

    Hands down a better version of Alien³, although little is done to improve the third act, which I’ve always thought to be the most problematic section of the film. Still, Charles de Lauzirika—producer of the Alien Quadrilogy boxed set and the "assembler" responsible for the re-cut included in the collection—has a much better feel for humanizing the various miscreants populating Fury 161, transforming their curious evangelism from a throwaway plot…

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  • Hidden Figures

    Hidden Figures

    ★★½

    [NOTE: So this write-up turned into the longest thing I've written for Letterboxd yet—longer even than my goddamned Stalker review—which is probably the only reason I'm actually putting it on the site. It's problematic, likely guilty of whitesplaining and mansplaining, and really doesn't give a fair shake to Hidden Figures or its adherents. But, seeing as only about five people actually read my stuff, and three of them will no doubt see this review's length and give it a hearty…

  • Kingsman: The Secret Service

    Kingsman: The Secret Service

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    For almost a week now I’ve been mulling over Kingsman: The Secret Service, trying to figure out the source for my ire towards Matthew Vaughn’s over-the-top spy-movie satire. Of course, with the film's misogyny, its derivativeness of smarter, better films, or its subtle racism, there's plenty of fodder for vitriol. But all of these flaws, while unfortunate, are nothing new or shocking, rather serving as further examples of the increasingly repetitive nature of all these goddamn comic book movies constantly…