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  • Venom

    Venom

    ★★

    So, it turns out that the VENOM movie isn't especially good. Everyone is shocked.

  • Shadow Builder

    Shadow Builder

    ★★★

    Remember that classic Bram Stoker story about Michael Rooker as a two-gun priest who is trying to protect a 12-year-old Kevin Zegers from a discount BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER monster, guest starring Tony Todd as a hobo with dreadlocks and an eye patch?

    SHADOW BUILDER sure does.

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  • Polar

    Polar

    ½

    The most generous explanation I can come up with for Polar is that it was made by aliens who have never seen a human and had to extrapolate everything about us entirely by reading the worst, most egregious "edgy" comics from the '90s.

  • The Ship of Monsters

    The Ship of Monsters

    ★★★★½

    It's my Letterboxd and I can rate movies however I want to.