The Predator ★★

This movie is fucking awful in nearly every area associated with film making, yet it's also very entertaining, and yes I am very easily entertained. It's super gory and fun in that respect, the set pieces are almost jaw dropping, especially when something nasty happens. It can be laugh out loud funny, mostly unintentionally for several reasons... but some jokes land, about 60-80% of them do not however.

Some of the characters are likeable and occasionally endearing, especially Key, Thomas Jane and Trevante Rodes! But our lead Boyd Holbrook is awfully written, and not necessarily badly acted, just he doesn't fit whatsoever! which is a shame, because I love him in Narcos. And Jacob Tremblay seems to just be staring for the entire movie, and Olivia Munn is a Mary Sue. Also she sleepwalks this entire movie, her performance is BAD, except she is involved in the best scene in the movie, in terms of actual cinematic quality. Which involves her hiding in the decontamination booth, it's the only tense scene in the entire movie, because the rest of the time, you don't care about the characters enough! Because they are always joking and making quips, which are sometimes funny, but no one is taken seriously! It's like Shane and Fred are saying fuck you to the audience!

And back to her, she's so badly introduced, cut to her face being approached by feds, hey we need you lady! for the things! I'll look after your dog! she just looks confused, or like she's had a stroke. And it pans down to a dog, we know nothing about, because the editing of this scene is fucking dire. I know the first half of her introduction was badly cut, due to the sex offender being in that scene, but fuck me figure something out, it's just insultingly bad.

The aforementioned editing though jesus christ! it's abysmal and the scripting does contribute towards this movies overall confusion, one particular shot is just school boy shit, man it's bad! There's a scene where the dog that barks at the boy previously, runs up to the boy and at first it scares him, then he starts petting it? Firstly why do we care about this dog, we saw it for 0.5 seconds to further hammer home the pain caused to this boy by sound, and secondly all we know from the barking scene is that he doesn't like the dog at all? WHAT! sure I understand it's a set up for the stupid pred dogs, but fuck off seriously. Also, this leads to the shot I'm on about, that was mistakenly left in the film! Everyone is hopping into the campervan, in between the last few people getting in, it cuts to the normal dog running through the park, but it leads to nothing??? from that shot you'd think it'd run and get into the campervan, but no! it is meaningless.

Also I'll address the controversy in terms of the disabilities displayed in this movie, both of which I have personal experiences with. Braxley has tourettes, people say that it's insulting to display tourettes as just swears, because that's the side of it shown on TV or whatever. But it's not just like that in this film, sure he swears occasionally as a tick, but he also says a complex sentence about fucking an Aardvark, as a tick. These are literally traits displayed by someone I know that goes to my local pub, he swears, says long complex rude sentences like "I want to shove my balls in your ass" (yes that's a direct quote), clicks, whistles in the same pitch, shifts his head violently and stretches his arms upwards. Thomas Jane did the clicks and whistles ticks early on but never repeats them, and the swears are not very often. The problem with the performance is not that it's insulting, it's that it's not very well done, as with the guy I know (it's weird because their tourettes are exactly identical) he ticks nearly constantly! Where Thomas Jane will go about ten minutes without doing anything, which is strange. Sure some forms could have ticks hours apart, which is pretty much what's in the film, but highly unlikely with what he was displaying! also, yes I know some tourettes can be lengthy spasms, that render a persons limbs useless, but that would not be a good cinematic choice, in a movie about killing space aliens. Which is my point, that people get so angry about stupid shit these days, the only awkward and bizarre scene with him, is when he says "Eat my pussy" to Olivia Munn, who proceeds to lambast him as a weirdo, and nobody defends him, or tells her of his problem?? that's weird, and only done for laughs.

Now the autism, my sister has autism, which is not like Jacob's in the film,as they clearly tried to show low-functioning autism, whereas my sister is high-functioning. The difference being, you're more likely to notice low-functioning autism, because of the unwillingness to communicate, outburts of rage, sensitivity to sound and light etc. And sometimes, the ability to calculate crazy sums, or hack into databases, or design military grade weapons from your garage, which are quite rare traits. As I almost see it like a low-functioning autistic person, could see everything like a puzzle, waiting to be solved. Which is how Jacob acts in the film! But back to my sister, she's high-functioning, so she can function fairly well in society independently. She just always likes doors to be closed, hates the colour yellow, doesn't like being told off at all or voices being raised, has obsessions with things (currently sharks) and can be very anxious and afraid of social interactions. Now this is the confusing part about Jacob in this film, they wanted him to be a super computer type autistic kid (which is a stupid cliche granted) but he's also quite good with talking to people, and is sensitive to sound. That's it! He might as well just be a smart kid with a hearing problem, because there's no life put into his disability, it feels cheap to explain why the predators want him to design super predators. And also for plot convenience, which are two words to describe this movies script actually. It wasn't believable at all, I didn't think it was insulting, just bad writing of a character! The performance is fine from Jacob, he's working with what he's been given.

To finish because I could rant forever, but the point is it's not a well made film, but if you want a bit of gory entertainment, with a well loved antagonist (who looks great btw, maybe not the super pred in some shots though..) this could be a blast with a few mates, after a few beers. It has one very funny scene I will say though, when they're taking bets on whether Olivia Munn will grab the shotgun, and whether she'd pull the trigger, that was funny, the flick on the nose being the icing on the cake. But just be warned it's riddled with badness, the amount of plot convenience and exposition is embarrassing, and the editing shoddy, and almost worst of all, Olivia Munn being a biologist, and apparently a millitary trained soldier?? her ability as a soldier is never explained, and thus you can assume they wrote it so she could be a badass lady, but it feels cheap and dishonest, she can be a bad ass scientist lady, christ have you seen Arrival Fred Dekker?

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