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  • Swordfish

    Swordfish

    ★★

    Flatlines after a spectacular opening sequence. 

    Well, that’s not true. There’s the hilarious scene where Hugh Jackman must hack into some secure website while being held at gunpoint by Vinnie Jones while also receiving a blowjob from some random girl. 

    And there’s the infamous “Halle Berry shows her boobs” moment, which is only memorable because of how shamelessly gratuitous it is. 

    And of course, there’s John Travolta’s entire look for this movie. 

    So I guess there’s enough to fill out…

  • BlacKkKlansman

    BlacKkKlansman

    ★★★★

    Do I love it because it’s a well made movie or do I love it because I agree with it politically? Would I react the same way to it if I wasn’t so fucking sick of my government’s current stance regarding minorities and white supremacists? If horseshit like DEATH OF A NATION wasn’t playing in the auditorium next door? 

    Food for thought. But there’s some stuff I know for sure:

    - Alec Baldwin and Adam Driver are really fucking good.…

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  • Hereditary

    Hereditary

    ★★

    It’s not you, movie. It’s me. I just can’t take the kind of stuff that happens in your second half as seriously as you need me to. 

    Well, maybe it’s a little you, movie. Because your first half is a heart-wrenching portrayal of grief and tragedy and you let me down with the follow-up. And Toni Collette gives her all for over two hours and I kind of resent the silliness you put her through during the third act.

    An extra half a star for what might be the most HOLY SHIT moment of 2018.

  • Solo: A Star Wars Story

    Solo: A Star Wars Story

    ★★★★

    It benefits GREATLY from the built-in bittersweetness of knowing how life ultimately turns out for good old Han. On its own, it’s just a fun adventure movie. In the context of Star Wars, you keep getting hit by these small waves of sadness because this young outlaw has no idea how much pain life has in store for him. It gives the whole thing a much welcome extra depth. 

    There were a handful of super cheesy, really dumb comedic moments…