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  • TRON: Legacy

    TRON: Legacy

    ★★★★

    A film that is every bit of teen boy wish fulfillment you could ever ask for.

    Tron as a series is rooted in the idea of escapism, so it only makes sense to have Legacy put its imagination toward just being cool on every level.

    Who wouldn’t want to be the awesome, motorcycle riding, BASE jumping hot boy who gets trapped in a video game world, scored by Daft Punk, who goes on to meet a hot e-girl, and fight to save his equally awesome godlike father / also the world?

    Hell, it’s a fantasy I’d love to live now.

  • The Punisher

    The Punisher

    ★½

    Exactly what you would picture when you hear the words “Punisher movie set in Florida.”

    I love to imagine a coked out executive insisting that the murder of Frank’s wife and children isn’t tragic enough, so we need a giant family reunion slaughter.

    Because that’s how that had to go down, right?

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  • The Punisher

    The Punisher

    ★★

    Lundgren actually embodies Frank Castle rather well: tall, dark, and ruthless, with a thousand yard stare that says he is not to be fucked with.

    He’s filmed like Jaws, from the boots up and just out of sight until it’s time for the kill. 

    It’s 80’s action schlock that completely rips, so when the movie spends half the time on boring mafiosos and detective work, its 90 minute runtime starts to feel twice that, and you’re left tapping your foot in the wait for more blood and cheese.

  • Logan

    Logan

    ★★

    Misery porn.

    A movie so determined to disengage with its comic book DNA, it feels downright goofy the harder it tries to run from it. “Take me seriously!” it screams, as it has the nerve to throw in something as insane as cyborg mercenaries and an evil Wolverine clone.

    Even on a character level, these protagonists are so emotionally detached and stuck in the mode of brooding that it’s hard to enjoy any moment of time spent with them, or…