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  • The Irishman

    The Irishman

    ★★

    [extremely loud snore equivalent to the three attempts it took me to finish a movie with more bad CG than a Marvel movie]

  • Alita: Battle Angel

    Alita: Battle Angel

    ★★★

    What the hell was this movie?

    Big eyes.

    I want to subtract a star because of the fans who like this movie.

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  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★★

    Here's how I described Uncut Gems, after watching it: "Uncut Gems is the cinematic equivalent of having a two-hour heart attack."

    I'm someone who doesn't like to spend money. It doesn't mean I won't spend money, but I will go out of my way to avoid it. It's why I drink cheap liquor and always bring home leftovers. It's why I'll combine two or three sets of leftovers, elements of food that should not be on the plate together, because…

  • Parasite

    Parasite

    ★★★★★

    I've regularly seen Bong Joon-ho's work described as "not subtle," as if it's a bad thing. Part of what's so consistently brilliant about Bong's work an unrelenting pursuit of an idea.

    Parasite is no different than The Host or Snowpiercer or Okja or any other Bong film. He's cynical about society, and likely even his audience. They're movies trying to strangle you by the neck with their point, because it knows you won't pay attention otherwise. It's a story screaming…