My favorite parts of Mortuary: the slow buildup of stalking and "who's there"s in the dark and airhead "teen" banter. A shadow of a killer clutching a bat and creeping along a pool patio. White people boogeying to rock music that sounds tinny and tired. Too bad the movie plateaus into predictability and stock thrills once the actual chase'n'kill begins. I'd SLAY for a modern slow cinema distillation of the Slasher Movie. Teen bodies wandering through wood paneled suburban homes in chilly long shot, long takes. Some xtra stars for baby Bill Paxman playing a creep mortician who covers himself in pancake makeup, though.

Loved the future punk junk shock of an anime brought to life with rubber suits and battle armor and kool models and dog-eating aliens and SUPREME early '90s CGI that looks like it was made with Video Toaster and a loose understanding of how computers actually work. Zeiram 2 feels a li'l too long and saddled with some turgid dialogue to stretch the cartoon action to feature length. But all the future tech and rad monsters and superpowered space huntresses made me smile 'til the end. 2 fun!

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.