Mortuary ★★★½

My favorite parts of Mortuary: the slow buildup of stalking and "who's there"s in the dark and airhead "teen" banter. A shadow of a killer clutching a bat and creeping along a pool patio. White people boogeying to rock music that sounds tinny and tired. Too bad the movie plateaus into predictability and stock thrills once the actual chase'n'kill begins. I'd SLAY for a modern slow cinema distillation of the Slasher Movie. Teen bodies wandering through wood paneled suburban homes in chilly long shot, long takes. Some xtra stars for baby Bill Paxman playing a creep mortician who covers himself in pancake makeup, though.