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  • House

    House

    ★★★★½

    I did miss the first 15 minutes... BUT THE REST OF THE FILM WAS A FR*CKIN MASTERPIECE OF CINEMA!!!!!! I NEED THAT CRITERION IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. This is definitely going on the favorites list next time I watch it.

  • Annihilation

    Annihilation

    ★★★★

    My thought process on Annihilation in four simple, easy to follow short and sweet paragraphs:

    Act 1: Wow, this is interesting. It’s pretty good but it’s a bit slow for my taste. This one filmmaking technique they keep using is kinda annoying. Why are they doing this???

    Act 2: Good but still slow…

    Act 3: HOLY CRAP!! I’m totally about this! The themes are great! This is SUPERB.

    Talking about the movie with John for 45 minutes after it ended:

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  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    ★½

    Now I know what it must have felt like to be the one person that hated Phantom Menace when it came out, got positive reviews and everyone loved it.

    I don't care about the plot holes or "Star Wars rule breaking" that people seem to be upset about. I'm saying from a technical objective standpoint The Last Jedi is absolutely terrible.

    I was just gonna say that this movie is bad and not put any effort into this review like…

  • The Cloverfield Paradox

    The Cloverfield Paradox

    ★½

    Top 10 lines from 10 Cloverfield Lane. I mean The Cloverfield Poopbox.

    Spoilers if you care... You shouldn't, this really sucks.

    Walls don't make noises like that.

    We are definitely not in Kentucky anymore.

    Hey... The worms are missing!

    Look at these moisture levels.

    Now there is a gun? Since when is there a gun?

    Well, we found the worms.

    Where's my arm? Where's my bloody arm?

    That's my fucking arm.

    What are ya talking about arm?!

    We're upside down!!