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  • Mission of Justice

    Mission of Justice

    ★★★★

    Some movies slap. Mission of Justice roundhouse kicks. We're talking the highest roundhouse per minute ratio of any movie ever made. Moonlight? Zero roundhouse kicks. Citizen Kane? Hardly any roundhouse kicks. Mission of Justice? I lost count. But it's a lot.

  • Inception

    Inception

    ★★★★★

    It's a fuckin' mind heist!

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  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★★

    A souless cash-grab that sets the record for most Macguffins and Deus Ex Machina ever in a single film. Every plot point felt like it was made up by a 7-year-old -- "And then this happened! And then this happened!" -- without any regard to what came before. Was there an Episode 8.5 that I missed? Two stars for some visually interesting shots and a lesbian kiss that is sure to piss off the Star Wars incels.

  • Whiplash

    Whiplash

    ★★★★★

    Wow. Holy shit. That was like Full Metal Jacket: The Musical. J.K. Simmons is electric as a hard-ass Jazz band conductor and, while I didn't like his character, Miles Teller really puts it all out there as his ambitious, young student.