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  • Love Actually

    Love Actually

    ½

    This was like a parody of what I expected Love Actually to be.

  • Roar

    Roar

    ★½

    Cats are the problem and the solution in this incredibly confused and irresponsible effort.

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  • The Room

    The Room

    Did the San Francisco Tourism Bureau finance the opening credit sequence? Why is a grown couple hanging out with a 14-year-old rando? Are they done having sex yet? Why is there a decorative shower in their bedroom? Do the gods know there’s a mortal named Mark with hair that luscious? Why is he surprised Lisa’s coming onto him when she called him “baby” over the phone earlier? Was the camera supposed to go out of focus? Wait, why are they…

  • Unedited Footage of a Bear

    Unedited Footage of a Bear

    ★★★★

    Do you like nature documentaries? Did you like Coherence? Can you barely function without your meds? Did you have kids but forget where you put them? Are you wearing two pairs of pants? Did you lose your yellow cardigan? Do you always read the fine print? Are you afraid to return Donna's calls? Have you been running for a really long time but you don't know where you are or how you got there? Did you slow down when you…