• Cinderella Blues

    Cinderella Blues

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The Prince remembers what Cinderella looks like. Making this the only version that makes sense.

  • The Horror of Party Beach

    The Horror of Party Beach

    ★★½

    “Why the shocking lack of sodium taught in schools today is shocking. Yeah, you kids with your big pants and your colored chalk and your Neve Campbell and your fanny pack and your nerf ball and your listening to the Pearl and the Pong and your Volkswagen Golf leases and your notebooks and the kids with the pierced I don’t know what, the roller skates in the 23 Skidoos in the listening to the Becks.” - Crow

  • A Jungle Jumble

    A Jungle Jumble

    ★★★★

    You've proved to me that all this ultraviolence and killing is wrong, wrong, and terribly wrong. I've learned me lesson, sir. I've seen now what I've never seen before. I'm cured!

  • Lace

    Lace

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I had trouble following the plot, in part because of the problems with the subtitles, so here's the auto-translated plot summary from Glagoleva's and Macheret's Советские художественные фильмы (Soviet Feature Films).

    Based on the story of M. Kolosov "Stengaz", dedicated to the life of the Komsomol and working youth.

    End of the 20s. The Komsomol cell of the lace factory is suppressed by the authority of its secretary, the local Leonardo da Vinci. Boredom and dying melancholy reign in cell…

  • The Chronicles of the Gray House

    The Chronicles of the Gray House

    ★★★

    It's better to see the 2005 restoration of this film than the version on YouTube, since it's Arno Wagner's luminous cinematography that's the major attraction.

    "In The Chronicles of Grieshuus shot by Von Gerlach in 1924 from a short story by Theodore Storm, we found the natural landscape included like the idealized body of a certain form of spirit. Despite its fundamentally Germanic atmosphere (one thinks of Jean Paul and la Motte Fouqué), it was without doubt the most Scandinavian…

  • The Projected Man

    The Projected Man

    “The great monsters of the cinema. Dracula. Frankenstein’s monster. Paul.” - Tom Servo

  • Why is the red mullet red?

    Why is the red mullet red?

    ‘Tis no mullet! ‘Tis a remorseless eating machine!

  • Godmonster of Indian Flats

    Godmonster of Indian Flats

    ★★★½

    "'Chinatown' meets 'High Plains Drifter' meets 'Day of Wrath' but featuring a psychotic ovine." - Kevin Murphy

  • What Do Young Films Dream About?

    What Do Young Films Dream About?

    ★★★★

    I saw this in 1985 projected in 16 mm under the above title, "A Quoi revent les jeunes films?” It’s “Emak Bakia" followed by "Jeux de reflets et de la vitesse" and "Cinq minutes de cinema pur,” and more commonly shown as separate films.

  • What to Do on a Date

    What to Do on a Date

    “But if you’re an AV Geek, don’t even kid yourself.” - Tom Servo

  • Felix the Cat as Romeeow

    Felix the Cat as Romeeow

    ★★★★

    So that’s how radio works.

  • Oil's Well

    Oil's Well

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A rabbit serenades his cat girlfriend with a trombone and a duck, and her dog father gets angry and hijacks the Stork and uses it to shoot eggs at him. That’s a quality cartoon in my book.