The result of a bunch of desperate Hollywood producers who watched Showgirls (1995) and realized they could pay loads of money to get Demi Moore naked even if no genuine attention got paid to the generic "erotic thriller" excuse of a story or blatant slut shaming.
There's a reason Showgirls got reevaluated as a misunderstood classic and not this embarrassing imitation.
Everyone knows or has something to say about this movie... for me, the word fascinating comes to mind. First of all, the opening scene in this is a legit banger—an emotional gutpunch and if I’m being perfectly honest, the only scene out of all 4 of these movies that gave me extreme nightmares as a child.
I know Jaws 3 has its fans but this movie blows that criminally boring (no movie banking on a shark fucking up sea world should…
Rifftrax Rating: ⛱️🦈🛥️⚓
Viewed: Blu-ray Personal Collection
🎇 Happy Independence Day! 🎇
I love Jaws! It is such a great film that still strikes terror in my heart. Sharks are extremely beautiful and incredible creatures, but damn do they scare the shit out of me. The film does an amazing job at building a gripping story, interesting characters and dread of what is lurking in the water all while being amazingly well paced. Jaws is such a great…
maximum dank grotty oppressive s cali gothic rando early eighties dinner hour tv episode asmr'ed to ninety minutes wherein 19! year-old Phoebe Cates royally screws up everything just like always! way to go 19! year-old Phoebe Cates! you really did it this time! smog and predatory dudes gray out everything that isn't beige or some terrifying off-brand n0t-yves-klein-blue-#n that is now! a leotard! and now! a tube top! for 19! year old Phoebe Cates who has to ride around in…
Blue Spring is devastating. Amplifying the angst-filled emotion which propels much of the high school drama contained within, the film whiplashes the viewer from contention to contention, promising a dizzying and highly turbulent cinematic experience.
"People who know what they want... they scare me."
I'll be honest, I struggle to put into words the affecting nature of this film. There's this overbearing sense of desperation, misguided anger, and muted cry for help that add up to create an incredibly bleak…
Gets a full extra star for being way ahead of its time, this movie gets the official title of “first found footage film” in my book (sorry Cannibal Holocaust, you definitly helped popularize the premise but you ain’t a found footage movie—I still love you anyway) and unlike so many movies after The Blair Witch Project, this movie is so enthusiastic and innocent with its endeavors and I can’t hekp but appreciate it.
First off... this family and it’s interactions are…
- The harbor patrol comes to investigate The Morning Lady II. As soon as we go below deck we get that pulsing synth and we know Fulci's not fucking around. We meet our first zombie and he's an undead salad dodger hungry for cops!
This is the one film that always recalibrates the zombie fan in me. Not because it's my favorite. But because it fueled the fire to an uncontrollable level as a youth. And stood as a beacon…
BOYS ARE CHEATS AND LIARS
THEY'RE SUCH A BIG DISGRACE
THEY WILL TELL YOU ANYTHING
TO GET TO SECOND BASE-
HE THINKS HE'S GONNA SCORE
IF YOU LET HIM ALL THE WAY
THEN YOU ARE A WHORE-
TICULTURIST'S STUDY FLOWERS
GEOLOGISTS STUDY ROCKS
THE ONLY THING A GUY WANTS FROM YOU
IS A PLACE TO PUT HIS COCK-
BUTTERFLIES AND BUGS
NOTHINGS MAKES HIM HAPPIER
THAN A GIANT PAIR OF JUGG-
LERS AND ACROBATS,
A DANCING BEAR NAMED CHUCK
ALL GUYS REALLY WANT IS
FORGET IT NO SUCH LUCK