wow .... i honestly ...... i saw this two whole ass days ago but i just don’t ..... i don’t know how to describe the përfëct experience of this movie ....... like ..... i’m just going to have to accept it huh. just gonna have to accept that there are no fuckihn words to encapsulate the level of violent joy i felt at watching colin firth recreate the iconic Titanic Shot™ by wrapping his arms snugly around stellan skarsgard. no words. i saw that shot and i was instantly reborn more powerful than ever before. now, finally, i can know true peace for the first time.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Forgive Me Lord, For I Have Sinned. Regrettably, I Howled Of Laughter When Andrew Garfield Had To Drag Vince Vaughn Around On The Battlefield On The Back Of A Bit Of Cloth Because His Legs No Longer Worked But Vince Was Still Sitting Up And Shooting The Shit Out Of People While Andrew Yanked Him Wildly Through The Mud I'm So Sorry Lord I Know War Is Bad And Mel Gibson Is The Devil But It Was So Funny