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  • Dunkirk

    Dunkirk

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    my dad only gave this four stars & when i asked him what caused that whole star subtraction he stared mistily into space for a minute before he said thoughtfully, "the boats ... the boats were too clean. not enough shitboxes" and ya know i can't fault him on that! your move chris

  • The Phantom of the Opera at the Royal Albert Hall

    The Phantom of the Opera at the Royal Albert Hall

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    what the fuck andy

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  • Hacksaw Ridge

    Hacksaw Ridge

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    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Forgive Me Lord, For I Have Sinned. Regrettably, I Howled Of Laughter When Andrew Garfield Had To Drag Vince Vaughn Around On The Battlefield On The Back Of A Bit Of Cloth Because His Legs No Longer Worked But Vince Was Still Sitting Up And Shooting The Shit Out Of People While Andrew Yanked Him Wildly Through The Mud I'm So Sorry Lord I Know War Is Bad And Mel Gibson Is The Devil But It Was So Funny

  • Beauty and the Beast

    Beauty and the Beast

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    to all of y'all up in arms about the yellow dress in this movie: ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE BEAST'S JORTS???????????? JORTS. JORTS I TELL YOU! AND IN DISNEY'S FIRST """"GAY MOVIE"""" I DON'T THINK SO