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  • Dora and the Lost City of Gold

    Dora and the Lost City of Gold

    ★★★★

    The idea of a live action adaptation of an educational Spanish-learning cartoon intended for the under 7 age group is just utterly preposterous to begin with. So what do you do when your boss asks you to write one? Apparently you rip off National Treasure and High School Musical, throw in a hallucinogenic animation sequence and a song about pooping in a hole you dug with an entrenching tool. Recommended for persons who left the theater after Cats saying, 'I don't know what the fuck Universal was thinking but I'm glad they blew $100MM on this.'

  • Cure

    Cure

    ★★★★

    Undeniably accomplished but I can't help being strongly reminded of Fincher, in particular Se7en, and in turn the weird cult of edgy teenagers that absolutely worship this kind of thing as the pinnacle of cinema.

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  • Celluloid Nightmares

    Celluloid Nightmares

    ★★★★

    Hooptober 5.0 film #6

    A sexed-up riff on giallo by way of Videodrome. It's certainly got it's fair share of, shall we say, transgressive content, but it's also got neon, architecture, and a really cool voyueristic/meta thing where 40% of the runtime is either watching someone operate a camera or watching tape playback on a TV within the film. The frequent reminders that you're watching producers of snuff movies watch/make snuff movies in a movie that's also kind of a snuff movie itself are somehow really unsettling.

  • Joshua and the Promised Land

    Joshua and the Promised Land

    ★★★★½

    Not even memeing - this is a fantastic piece of christian outsider art. It looks rough, but considering Jim *Lion* (I'm not entirely sure there's not some proto-furry thing going on here) was likely working on his personal computer in 2004, it's evident that a *lot* of work went in to it and the I unironically like the aesthetic. The detail and care is also really evident in the sound design. Of course hard work is no guarantee of a great end product, but not once in 53 minutes was I bored.