✨PinkMcflurry (Danya)✨’s review published on Letterboxd:
1. “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. 2. Shame is a painful feeling that's a mix of regret, self-hate, and dishonor.”
Sometimes one doesn’t understand how they can be so unhappy, feel so empty, feel so unfulfilled when they seem to have it all. Shame is a strong emotion. An emotion that can sometimes make you want to peel away at your skin. This film explored sex addiction, yet for some reason I do not think the sex addiction was the root of the shame, but that the shame came long before the addiction. Usually an addiction presents itself as escapism. Escapism sounds like a pretty word, an adventure only to be an insidious ominous route to something darker if you’re not careful.
Brandon’s escapism from his shame is sex. Anytime he has to face himself or be alone he finds himself doing anything that revolves around sex and he is only capable of having these encounters with people whom he has no emotional attachment to. He does not believe that relationships are necessary , why? Maybe because he does not feel necessary.
There are numerous incidents of Brandon’s character feeling shame: When he boss addresses the amount of porn on his hard drive assuming it’s by someone else’s hand calling them a “sick fucker”, Brandon feels SHAME. When his sister walks in on him masturbating he feels SHAME and gets rid of any trace is sex in his apartment, and when his sister made him take a look at himself for questioning anyone else’s sex life he feels SHAME. he feels shame because he feels humiliation, humiliation because what is his form of escapism is considered “sick” and wrong and how dare he point his finger at anyone else because he silently points the finger at himself. What he portrays externally and what he tries to tell himself is that he is upstanding, honourable, and is independent, but really all he feels internally is SHAME....SHAME......SHAME!
Another thing I love about this was the score. From the way the score was used, it felt like it was made to get lost in (the final threesome in particular) but Brandon pushes through that and we can see he is painfully aware of where he is. The shame and emptiness is written all over his face. He is present in those feelings.
I feel like there is so much more to unwrap about this film that a rewatch is necessary. Sissy’s character was another incredible addition that I would love to sink my teeth into. I was really interested in finding out how this all seemed to start, but was not given the answer. If you actually made it to the end of this review I would love to hear your thoughts.