Beverly Hills Cop II ★★★

"Don't think, Axel! It makes my dick itch!"

This is a messy, mostly perfunctory sequel that is elevated to some sort of weird art by Tony Scott... but also... this is a couple of funny sequences totally squandered by a completely disinterested Tony Scott. I want to see the movie he was making that contained the flash-bang heist sequence, the one about Brigitte Nielsen as an amazonian thug! I was less interested in the way these little music videos were interrupted by recreations of scenes from the first movie, stretched well beyond the limits of credulity,

The script is mostly terrible, and there's no polishing a turd, but if I can continue to speculate on Mr. Scott's disinterest in the basics here, he and his DP didn't even bother adjusting their lights to highlight the black actors' skin tones, causing Murphy's face to often disappear into shadow. Even if one can argue that this is an intentional look, it's still out of place and clashing with the tone. I imagine Scott saw the actors as just another part of his design, as he was doubtlessly fussing with some shafts of light that needed to go through a fan.

Don't get it twisted, I'm not one to get my panties in a bunch over style superseding substance, but this movie is so clearly (as noted sociopath Matt Lynch points out) the primordial ooze from which crawled the toxic abominations that eventually led to the evolutionary dead end known as BAD BOYS II. I knew as soon as Brigitte Nielsen showed up that there was going to be an endless series of misogynist name-calling and body shaming (bingo!), and if you need further proof of this movie's misanthropic DNA, how about Gilbert Gottfried screaming "BITCH!" into a phone because he thinks his wife got parking tickets. This movie is nasty.

Yet I wrote all these words about it, so I guess it's also pretty interesting.

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