Just your average film nerd.

Favorite films

  • The Thing
  • Blade Runner 2049
  • Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • Spirited Away

Recent activity

  • Obi-Wan Kenobi


  • The Butterfly Effect

  • Ocean's Eleven


  • Ash Is Purest White


Recent reviews

  • Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Obi-Wan Kenobi


    In spite of my better judgement and my firm belief that reasonable discourse over Star Wars is dead, here’s my opinion on a Star Wars thing!

    I liked this show. Despite a couple lackluster performances and the occasional odd story decision, this really found its footing in the final 2 episodes and packed a hell of an emotional punch. I appreciated how this expanded and deepened the dynamic between Obi-Wan and Vader, young Leia is absolutely adorable, and you can’t…

  • The Butterfly Effect

    The Butterfly Effect

    Borderline incomprehensible misery porn. Terrible performances, caricatures in place of characters, and a relentlessly nihilistic and immature attitude towards the story and the characters. 

    This has to be one of the worst scripts I’ve ever watched unfold on screen. Everything is blamed on the central character and no one else is ever treated as being responsible for their own actions. There are so many implausible lapses in both logical and emotional sense I felt like I was starting to lose…

Popular reviews

  • John Wick: Chapter 5

    John Wick: Chapter 5

    These films are my lifeblood. 

    Watching Keanu Reeves endlessly murder people in slick, beautifully shot neo noir cinematography is a religious experience that transcends reality and enlightens my very soul. 

    They can keep making these until the end of time and you can bet your sweet ass I’ll be at the theater for it every. single. time.

  • Great White

    Great White

    They make this exact same movie every year but with a different title.