*phone ringing*

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. At the tone please record your message, when you are finished recording you may hang up or press 1 for more options.

*beep*

Hey Vince, uh, long time no see, it’s been awhile bro! I uh, guess you’re busy or something I don’t know but I was just calling to let you know I finally saw Buffalo ‘66. Good shit. I’m not going to lie Vince I didn’t really want to like this film as much on account of you being kind of a prick, but I must say I was pleasantly surprised.

Your performance, I hesitate to say “performance”  because maybe you were just being yourself, was very fun to watch. Sort of like a volatile incel, but kind of in a good way I guess. Also your co-star was great, I think maybe you um, could’ve given her more to say and do in the first half but besides that I think that character was also very well written, so kudos Vince. 

I should also mention the editing, because again well done, all the disorienting shot reverse shots, and the constant revolving wide shots miraculously worked extremely well for the scenes, and I really loved the sudden switches to dramatic lighting. Also, goddamn Vince while the climax was just a tad predictable I gotta say I loved the final scene.

Alright enough dick sucking, ahhhh, see what I did there Vince? I’m sure if you had picked up the phone you would’ve laughed, you have a good sense of humor, not offensive or stupid whatsoever. Anyways Vince I gotta go, I would say keep up the good work but this came out in 1998 and I know you didn’t. Alright peace out crackhead Leto. 

*hangs up*

9.0 / 10