Bargain-basement DTV ineptitude so shocking it throws the eclectic charms of the original into sharper relief. Absolutely everything here is bad - the dialogue, the performances, the thudding sub-Ren Faire vision of "Celtic religion." Nothing works. The songs don't work. Christopher Lee's cameo doesn't work. The NUDITY doesn't work. A total failure.
So if you see this before you've seen Saving Private Ryan you go straight to Movie Prison without trial, right? Asking for a friend.
Guys, this movie kind of fucking rules. Rather than using the war as the fakeout first act of a knockoff Castle Wolfenstein horror-thriller, as the trailer kind of suggests, it remains committed to its hybrid identity throughout. It's tight, propulsive, and frankly pretty gnarly - the practical effects and makeup are terrific. And I was really…