• Cloud Path

    Cloud Path


    Oh my. Unhurried unfolding space, dank and desolate nothingness, secluded and obscured by diaphanous fogs and 16 granules, far far away from any of us, as Schulze's sombre synths bleed out an encomium to the sacred heart of nature, in the landscape film's cosmic defiance of Cinema.

    If you'll pardon the expresh, very much my shit. Could be a 4 on rewatch.


  • Blues Masters

    Blues Masters

    Being that these are og 66 sessions from Muddy Waters et al, needless to say they're awesome, esp whenever James Cotton or Otis Spann have to spring up out of their seat at the sheer passion of thinking about gunnin down their bride or whatever else has given them 'the feeling' on this day.

    Unfortunately we're forced to play nice with the scruffy Arquette-esque 90s stoner who top'n'tails the performances, to the point of busting out his geet and pretending…

  • Bad Behaviour

    Bad Behaviour


    For those who know J-Con can handle herselfs this is fire. She is bitter to a tea, a child actress desperately concerned with the idea she may have turned into a proper c, esp so when she does to Dasha what I'm sure half the world wanted to when Sixty-First dropped. It's lush. As typical, the creatives had no gameplan for floating such vibrant girl/girl animosity, other than a clumsy back end that waffles freudily with explanatory mother/daughter angst to…

  • Giftwrapped and Gutted

    Giftwrapped and Gutted

    "Fuck you, Santa Claus."

    A Merry W.AV.E. Christmas to one and all.

    To a touching acoustic rendition of O Holy Night, for no good reason Messed Up Alcy Santa hogties a delightfully ample Laura Giglio with christmas lights then goes out and offs his boss, silver fox Gaz Whitson who's been grinching about crappy christmas slashers on the telly before proceeding to lay on us the crappiest christmas slasher of them all. After talking a big pile of nothing at…

  • Song 2: For Colleen Haggerty

    Song 2: For Colleen Haggerty

    A soft spacetime sculpture that handwrings inviolently in gratitude to a faraway giantess for services rendered. Across the grain of the crystal glade can be felt the grist and tears of pilgrimage and spiritual debt.

    How far Miller has come from Bluebird, and needless to say this is her best work. She did say be honest so ok, on a boring tech level the sound mix is a little low, considering the sdtrk is so complex, and there're a few…

  • Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

    Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny


    Only On a Plane

    Actually kinda sorta works? Was wondering why Spielo's normally precocious direction felt so relaxed before realizing they had Jimmy at the helm.

    Continuing germanophobics features all quarters getting oily over contact relics that lo and behold have magical properties after all, and Indy is reluctantly dragged back into adventure. Like that they respect he's gramps now and can't be with the whip-swinging and punch-ups no more. There's a moment where he fixes a car by puttying…

  • Danger in Blue

    Danger in Blue


    Tina Krause gets dressed for 10 mins then things hot up when THE Sal Longo and his old china Gary Whitson terrorize a videostore girl. Sergeant Krause fails dismally at saving the day and gets hogtied over and over and spends the remainder of the film writhing to little avail beneath the urgent electro menace of Dougie Bregger.

    I'm in quiet awe such pure unadulterated ropecore exists tho I myself don't have a shibari thing. I do however have a Sal Longo mumbling unpleasant one-liners thing so big fat yeses over here.

  • Divinity



    Saying this probably isn't even Emily Willis' best work should provide some perspective.

    I reckon Ted Alcazar is the type to rate women on a scale from 1-10.

    Roids mogul Dorff gets to shag a pornstar then morph into The Incredible Cock for some stopmo marvel wannabe smackdown against an indiscernible mirage of protags whose mission is to convert women from hedonists into a childbearing dollcult. Deliver us from this toxic hetceltopia.

    Extra .5 for being so remarkably bad.

  • Mutiny in Heaven: The Birthday Party

    Mutiny in Heaven: The Birthday Party

    Typical overstylization, flashy transitions, those tacky comic book sketches to try and convey the moment, but if you just wanna hang with the boys it's a good overview and there's some top shelf concert footage, which fans have seen a hundred times before. Loved the Nick the Stripper shoot and Tracy Pew bending backwards into a bass drum makes me giddy. Everything they recorded is brilliant but Junkyard their best album if yr asking.

    No Anita? :/

  • Septic



    Hectic. Kinda Paulin's Serbian Film, which is never gonna be my personal poison, but with its 0-budget atmospheres manages to evoke more pathos than that pseudo-prestige cock-and-a-bull ever could. No matter how sludgy or problematic a Paulin gets, it's always worth sticking through for the diy meat'n'slime festival of the finale. And I always appreciate the way nasty environments have supernatural repercussions on the flesh in his films, like Plasm's bodily putrifaction by way of blackholes and exorcisms, here darkweb…

  • About Dry Grasses

    About Dry Grasses


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.


    So annoyed with this movie. Does anyone know how to stick a landing anymore?

    Samet, a teacher in a rural community, is fixated on one of his students. She's like 12, and very childish, and he's behaving like he has some kind of romantic involvement with her. As things develop, he becomes the target of an institutional investigation into inappropriate conduct and he is mortified that she would so betray him. From hereon we witness the unravelling of this…

  • Club Zero

    Club Zero


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Hausner is back in da haus with her most pointedly facetious film about a high school nutritionist (that swoop'n'glide girl from In Treatment) and the chaos she brings to a community with her controversial 'eat less' credo.

    Inedia is actually not that bizarre, look it up, but the choice here was to depict Miss Novak as a borderline cultish loon which I suppose isn't completely unfair in the sense of the symptoms of alien cultures colliding. She perhaps is yet…