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  • Phantom Thread

    Phantom Thread

    ★★★★½

    Punch-Drunk Love's Evil Twin or:
    All's Fair in Love and Wardrobe or:
    Be Careful What You Stitch For

    Elegantly, caustically hilarious.

  • The Neon Demon

    The Neon Demon

    ★★★½

    Third acts are tough. Most of my film-going experience has seen plot propelled by premise, launched by first acts and relying on an agreement with the audience that the filmmaker makes an opening deposit on engagement. In a world where nothing is original, and everything has been done before, we settle for predictability (sometimes, but less frequently, in hindsight) because "the journey is more important than the destination" has been hammered into us as a bulwark against criticism that escapism…

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  • The Master

    The Master

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Freddie is a bad dog. He keeps running away from home. He stumbles on a new master who loves him very much and tries to teach him to behave. Freddie loves his new master very much too, and tries to learn new tricks for him. Unfortunately, the call of the wild proves too much for Freddie and he runs away again. After a time, he returns to the master he loves so much only to find that his master has…

  • Citizen Kane

    Citizen Kane

    ★★★★

    [Redundant praise]
    [Joke about sleds]
    [Regurgitated and bastardized interpretations of technical feats of skill on display]
    [Insincere complaint about waiting so long to watch]
    [Unnecessary recommendation for anyone who hasn't seen it to finally do so]

    10/100