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  • Rookie of the Year

    Rookie of the Year

    I have a whole new respect for my dad when I think about how he sat through this stupid fucking movie in the theaters with me all those years ago. 
    There’s a special place in hell for Daniel Stern for exposing the world to this nonsensical garbage. 
    It wasn’t heart disease that killed John Candy; it was the shame from being in this movie. 
    This shit is so fucking crazy that it makes Gary Busey seem cool and normal. 
    I…

  • C.H.U.D.

    C.H.U.D.

    ★★★½

    The better half of the Sticky Bandits is busy helping others while the patriarch of the McCallister family just knocked up a model with what will ultimately become Buzz. In the mean time, the two seemingly opposites team up in the sewers to defeat cannibal monsters in this much needed prequel to the Home Alone series.

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  • The Good Neighbor

    The Good Neighbor

    ★★½

    A couple of annoying, millennial douche bags jerk off one and other while secretly watching James Caan. And I thought I was the only one who did this.

  • Apt Pupil

    Apt Pupil

    ★★★½

    I bet my boss comes home and masturbates to this movie most days. I hate my boss. He is a piece of shit.