Favorite films

  • Ernest Scared Stupid
  • Con Air
  • Minnesota Twins: Simply The Best
  • Speed

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  • John Mulaney: Baby J

  • Paradise City

  • Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut

    ★★★

  • Champions

    ★★½

Recent reviews

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  • John Mulaney: Baby J

    John Mulaney: Baby J

    Dressed just like the Joker, John Mulaney talks about rehab a lot. I like listening to stories about rehab. I went there once, it didn’t really work that well. But, I did befriend a few nice people. They’re all dead now, but even if they weren’t, I don’t think they’d be parading around in stupidly expensive purple suits pretending that they are more special than the millions of people who went through the exact same thing. Smugness and arrogance aside, Mulaney is pretty funny, but I kind of liked him and his material better when he was still a drug addict.

  • Paradise City

    Paradise City

    Oddly enough, I almost watched a Guns N’ Roses documentary instead. I wish I had. I was promised a film with Bruce Willis and John Travolta. I was presented with a film with Stephen Dorff. That guy is the worst. Old men should not have spiky hair. But, maybe that’s why he was cast in this movie. Bruce and Travolta are both bald brothers and Stephen Dorff looks like a middle school bully who’ll eventually end up getting a bunch…

Popular reviews

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  • I Know What You Did Last Summer

    I Know What You Did Last Summer

    ★½

    I’m glad all of the people who I’ve drunkenly ran over and threw into the ocean have never come back to haunt me.

  • Never Been Kissed

    Never Been Kissed

    ★★★

    Careless teachers attracted to their students
    Ruthless bullies 
    Every '90s teen movie trope
    Echoes of fallen '90s actors
    Posing as an adult to fuck a child
    Young James Franco