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  • Jurassic Park III

    Jurassic Park III

    ★★★

    It’s cheesy and downright stupid at times, but the good moments outweigh the bad. This unnecessary sequel is short and sweet. It’s far from grea, but I’ll take Jurassic Park III over these new ones any day.

  • Rad

    Rad

    ★★

    The actual movie is about ten minutes long. The rest is just a giant montage of people jumping around on bikes. This is most definitely not rad, dude! I did love the dialogue, the music, the school dance, and Mr. Hand from Fast Times flicking people off.

    Also, Talia Shire, who is a two time Oscar nominated person, is in this. Her producer husband putting her in this movie is spousal abuse.

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  • The Good Neighbor

    The Good Neighbor

    ★★½

    A couple of annoying, millennial douche bags jerk off one and other while secretly watching James Caan. And I thought I was the only one who did this.

  • Super Size Me

    Super Size Me

    ★★★

    Morgan Spurlock is a ginger mustachioed rube
    One misplaced red hair from the balding Pube
    Disingenuously capitalizing on other people's pain
    To prove a point already established in vain
    He eats some burgers, he eats some fries
    He takes things further and pretends to almost die
    An entire month of only Mickey D's
    Brings that cunt down to his knees
    He vomits, he bitches, he laughs, he gets sick
    His ugly vegan girlfriend gets fed up with his McShit
    He entertains, but instead of a point to prove
    All Mr. Spurlock does is make Pube want fast food