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  • Oliver & Company

    Oliver & Company

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    Let's take a trip back to when I was in grade 2.

    I am on lunch break at a table with a bunch of my classmates discussing the Geography class we just had about the provinces and territories of Canada.

    I forget our victims name so we will call him Lil Timmy. Poor Lil Timmy thought this was a discussion about geography, little did he know he stepped into the ring for a Slam Poetry Session. Lil Timmy asked me…

  • Magnolia

    Magnolia

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    The lights turn on. You can see the silhouette of PTA.

    He steps forward into the light as all his fans start applauding in excitement.

    "Yaaaa PTA!"
    "It's the best director ever!"
    "You should have won Best Director from the Oscars at least nine times!"

    PTA: "Thank you, thank you. Who am I?"

    "PTA!"

    PTA: "Louder!"

    "PTA!"

    PTA: "Don't you ever fucking forget it, because the world will always know who you are. Champions. You guys have great taste in…

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  • The Innocents

    The Innocents

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    The Innocents does a great job creating a horrifying atmosphere between the protagonist and these two children. Most modern films use children to have a cheap way to have jump scares or have the kids say creepy things. I find children in horror films to be extremely annoying and overdone; however, in this film they genuinely make us uncomfortable with the lead.

    There are a lot of great shots and terrifying scenes that are accompanied by a creepy score... but…

  • Brother Bear

    Brother Bear

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    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Kenai confesses to Koda that he killed Koda's mother.

    Fiance: "Why is Kenai implying he killed her?"
    Me: "Because... because he did kill the mother."
    Fiance: "What?! After she fell down the cliff we saw the mom walk out of the water."
    Me: "Yeah... then there is an entire other scene where Kenai follows the bear and kills her."
    Fiance: "Wait... he killed the bear?! OMG!"
    Me: "What are you talking about! That's how he turns into a bear! Are we watching the same movie!"
    Fiance: "He killed a bear?!"
    Me: "That's the whole movie!"

    Disney Animation Ranked

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  • Music

    Music

    Β½

    This film was pretty wild in a lot of ways.
    - The depiction of autism
    - Stories on how this film was made
    - The dancing sequences
    - The editing
    - The name of the lead is Music
    - Crushing someone with love is literally just crushing them

    However, the most wild part of this movie is there's a vendor that sells watermelon on a stick. What the fuck is that all about?

  • The Emperor's New Groove

    The Emperor's New Groove

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    I have seen this film three times in the last four months and I have something to admit. You guys won't be made right?
    Superbad Fans:
    "Nah I won't be mad!"
    Lebowski Fans: "Dude, you got nothing to worry about."
    Anchorman Fans: "Break the news already!"

    Okay... Emperors New Groove is legitimately the funniest film ever made.
    Lebowski Fans:
    "Whatever dude that's like your opinion man."
    Anchorman Fans: Holds a knife to my throat
    Superbad Fans: Punches a hole in their wall

    I know this is a hot take, but you can't stop me from loving this movie! ❀

    Disney Animation Ranked