Favorite films

  • Zardoz
  • The Taking of Pelham One Two Three
  • Thief
  • Blood Simple

Recent activity

  • In the Land of Saints and Sinners


  • Remember the Night


  • Napoleon


  • Oppenheimer


Pinned reviews

  • Tombstone



    Across the prairie, a lone rider approaches. The sun rises behind him, shrouding him in darkness. Black against red.

    He rides closer. The sun creeps upward, a flame lapping at the hem of a curtain. The morning's heat makes his shape waver and dance. A man astride a horse at one moment; a beast of a thousand hands at another.

    He rides closer. The sun is high. Staring straight down, accusing. The only signs of his progress are puffs of…

  • Sully



    ♫ This is the Captain, brace that ass for impact
    Don't doubt, motherfucker, ain't in the abstract
    Bird strikin' tiddies, with bitches that is stacked
    Black box, listen close, make your balls retract ♫

    ♫ Ain't no crash, perfect forced water landing
    Back the fuck off, 'fore I piss where you standing
    I'm fucking filthy, just got the right branding
    Ride on my mustache, that pussy commanding ♫

    ♫ Can't sully this Sully, King of the Controls
    Going ballistic, laying pipe 'round the poles
    She start chanting, while I'm filling her holes:
    He did it, one hundred and fifty-five souls ♫

Recent reviews

  • In the Land of Saints and Sinners

    In the Land of Saints and Sinners


    The Retirees of Inisherin

  • Remember the Night

    Remember the Night


    Holy shit the things I would do to Barbara Stanwyck.*

    *I would quickly dissatisfy her intellectually, emotionally, psychically, and clitorilly.

Popular reviews

  • Jurassic World Dominion

    Jurassic World Dominion


    Y'know, this is the fourth time I've let Colin Trevorrow take a shit in my mouth and I'm starting to think it's my fault.

  • The Taking of Deborah Logan

    The Taking of Deborah Logan


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    My father is in the early stages of Alzheimer's and I can't wait until he unhinges his jaw and tries to eat my head.