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  • Cool World

    Cool World

    Who Fucked Roger Rabbit?

  • Stop Making Sense

    Stop Making Sense

    ★★★★★

    For 88 minutes - a duration of such fantastical brevity that on a cosmic scale it effectively doesn't exist - the ceiling of doom that we carry through every waking moment somehow dissolves, and within its place: a primal, bestial, communal joy.

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  • Fight Club

    Fight Club

    ★★★½

    My first watch was a VHS screener in a friend's dorm room while I was bouncing on a sea of vodka and Mountain Dew. It was caustic and I loved it.

    I'm kind of terrified of it now. The exhausting drone of bourgeois complaint. It's Battle of Algiers for impotent white rage, a siren song of disaffection and oblivious class greed.

    Now, Ed Norton opens his thin-lipped mouth and all I hear is I have a job and an apartment…

  • Valhalla Rising

    Valhalla Rising

    ★★

    A bunch of my ancestors. Living in shitty wattle-and-daub. Pooping outside. Sacrificing to Wodan. Killing christians. Tearing a meager existence out of a land built from fog and blood. Y'know, the yoozh.

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  • Django Unchained

    Django Unchained

    ★★★★★

    Django & Doc King make a sizable dent in the membership of a Klan lodge, so technically they've killed a bunch of cops.

    Masterpiece.

  • Inglourious Basterds

    Inglourious Basterds

    ★★★★★

    The Bear Jew looks down at the floor of the royal box, where the Nazi brass have collapsed, their porcelain dickeys flecked with holes. He loads a fresh magazine and opens fire with his MP 40. Molten spears pierce Hitler's face. His eyes rupture. His sinuses are quickly pulverized. The edge of his face folds inward like a rotten pumpkin as his minced ocular cavities collapse onto his forebrain.

    I give one final pump and cum directly onto my receding hairline.