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  • No Time for Nuts

    No Time for Nuts


    Watched this at the New York City Aquarium's 4D theater with my 1-year-old daughter (her first visit to any movie theater). She grabbed my 3D glasses so my viewing was of a blurry squirrel teleporting to different landscapes, causing the theater to burp out fake snow, vibrate my seat with bowel-loosening intensity, and breathe lukewarm air against my ankles to simulate arrows being shot my way.

    Alice started bawling when the woolly mammoth showed up, so I cannot report on the ending.

  • Stake Land II: The Stakelander

    Stake Land II: The Stakelander


    I try to support Jim Mickle and Nick Damici in all of their endeavors. This one was written by and stars Damici, whose terse, starchy screen presence I find highly appealing. It is directed by two randos but retains the post-apocalyptic vampire Western vibe of the original, though the young co-star is a bit of a dip.

Popular reviews

  • No Escape

    No Escape


    It turns out there was an escape. This is what I call the ol' switcheroo.

    This is a decent "save the white people from the other people" movie, but on the Brosnan scale I give it five out of five Brosnans. Some excellent Brosnan-ing here.

  • Young Mr. Lincoln

    Young Mr. Lincoln


    “Suppose some truant good fairy were to ask me … ‘Is there some American film you’d like me to make you the author of – with a wave of my wand?’ I would not hesitate to accept the offer, and I would at once name the film that I wish I had made. It would be Young Mr. Lincoln directed by John Ford.” -Sergei Eisenstein