• Night of the Lepus

    Night of the Lepus

    I’m not sure rabbits will ever be able to live this one down

  • Frankie

    Frankie

    ★★

    Someone watched too many Woody Allen movies before making this...and not the good ones either

  • Primal

    Primal

    ★★★

    Nicolas Cage’s best friend is a talking parrot. It’s everything I hoped it to be and more.

  • Artemis Fowl

    Artemis Fowl

    I never thought anything would top her performance in Cats, but there’s a moment in Artemis Fowl  where a spaceship door opens up and 85-year-old nearly blind Dame Judi Dench - playing a fairy dressed in metallic green - menacingly growls “Top o’ the morning”.

    She also lives in a volcano and rides an elf Segway. 

    I have no idea what this movie is about.

  • F for Fake

    F for Fake

    ★★★

    A film I appreciate more than I like

  • Run This Town

    Run This Town

    ★½

    Pretty sure Damian Lewis is just wearing the remnants of Mike Myers’ Fat Bastard costume from The Spy Who Shagged Me. 

    Yikes.

  • Elephant

    Elephant

    ★★★

    Thank god Meghan Markle has something else going for her in life because voiceover narration is not her strong point

  • Last Christmas

    Last Christmas

    ★½

    There’s a scene where Emilia Clarke falls into a pile of trash bags which is an apt metaphor for this movie

  • The Laundromat

    The Laundromat

    This condescending movie mansplained fraud and offshore finance to me for 90 mins.

  • The King

    The King

    ★★½

    The comedy of the year! Come for the silly haircuts and questionable accents, stay for Robert Pattinson in the best cinematic performance since Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending.

  • Victor Frankenstein

    Victor Frankenstein

    ★★★½

    Is Victor Frankenstein a good movie? No.

    Does it have Daniel Radcliffe, James McAvoy, and Andrew Scott in Victorian clothing? Yes.

    Does a dead chimpanzee come back to life and run amok? Yes.

    Does Daniel Radcliffe appear in clown makeup with a hunchback? Yes.

    Are there any speaking roles for women? Not really.  

    Did anyone ask for a Dr. Frankenstein origin story? No.

    Am I glad this exists? Yes.

  • It Chapter Two

    It Chapter Two

    ★★★★

    The Disappearance Of Eleanor Rigby cast reunion we deserve