• Seeing Allred

    Seeing Allred


    Netflix Originals (2018) #10

    Hagiography, but obviously necessary.

  • The Outsider

    The Outsider


    Netflix Originals (2018) #9

    For someone who usually tries to act the hardest he can, Leto appears totally satisfied to coast on a single vacant stare for the entirety of this performance. His character never emotes, rarely speaks, and communicates effectively nothing about himself throughout the too-long two-hour duration of this film. (My best guess is that he's trying for an Alain Delon-type of stoic protagonist, to absolutely zero success.) Honestly, it's a good match for a gaijin-made yakuza film…

  • The Open House

    The Open House

    Netflix Original (2018) #8


  • Irreplaceable You

    Irreplaceable You


    Netflix Originals (2018) #7

    Instead of watching what I'm sure was a painful Oscars ceremony, I watched this. Honestly not sure which would have resulted in less viewing displeasure, but at least this wasn't 4+ hours long.

    Like a tearjerker and rom-com were Frankenstein-ed together, with mismatching parts forcefully sewn into a lumbering, bizarre mess of of a film. Manages to maintain some emotional resonance despite itself, so I guess the simile works on that level as well. Messiness and…

  • Annihilation



    Been a while since I wanted to rewatch a movie right after it ends. Consider the rating tentative. Shame about the whitewashing.

  • Game Night

    Game Night


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Hilarious. Plemons steals every scene he's in. Love than an obvious send-up/rip-off of The Game makes so many Fight Club jokes. Kind of shocked that any gun-related humor could make me laugh right now, but McAdams clearly knows how to make the most of a prop. Not to mention the movie has the best Denzel Washington joke we'll ever get. It's no Asscrack Bandit episode of Community, but still a very fun and very funny Fincher riff. (Be prepared to…

  • The Polka King

    The Polka King


    Netflix Original (2018) #6

    Maybe it's the slew of bad movies that proceeded it, but I found this to be far more enjoyable than its reputation would suggest. Jack Black's performance is borderline offensive caricature, so your mileage may vary depending on how tolerable you find terrible Polish accents and broken English played for laughs, but the actor's natural charisma and exuberant nature make him a good fit for the part. Formulaic structure and plotting make this hard to recommend…

  • The Ritual

    The Ritual


    Netflix Original (2018) #5

    Competently generic spooky-woods flick with some pagan-Norse mythology thrown in for good measure. Tense and atmospheric, but like most monster films it loses something once explanations are supplied. Still easily the best of these so far, but we'll see what the Polka King has to say about that.

  • Your Name.

    Your Name.


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    So I have *one* gripe: How the hell were they switching bodies for weeks (if not months) and NEITHER of them noticed they weren't living in the same year?? I guess you can hand-wave this away with space-rock-magic, but of alllllll of the things you're expected to do that for, this one feels the closest to contrived.

    Other than that, this movie is a goddamn masterpiece of Japanese animation. Can't wait to see how J.J. Abrams fucks it all up with the live-action remake.

  • Mary and the Witch's Flower

    Mary and the Witch's Flower


    So simple, so pleasant to watch, so narratively and visually derivative.

  • Wonder



    Decent enough for a time-killer before Star Wars (the allusions to padowans and Chewbacca were a strange but pleasant coincidence) and Chbosky manages to find some genuine grace notes for such a baldly manipulative feel-good flick.

    (Interesting how we see almost everyone's parents except Justin's mom, though. Hm.)

  • Justice League

    Justice League


    Deserves the "Most Improved" Hollywood franchise award (aside from Wonder Woman) for managing to tell a purely functional story that's at least semi-coherent. Also deserves "Most Boring," "Worst Characters," "Most Soulless," "Worst Villain," "Ugliest CGI," "Worst Writing," and special recognition for Henry Caville as the "Worst Superman of All Time." But at least it isn't the incomprehensible clusterfuck of a non-movie that is BvS.