Project Fuqua 009
inexplicably runs 132 minutes, which would be way too long for most normal pictures, let alone the 9,000th crime movie with screen time dedicated to David Harbour being some kind of scumbag LEO. what i'm saying is i hope EQUALIZER II prominently features more completely earnest subplots like Denzel Equalizer helping his fat buddy lose weight so he can become a security guard and less scenes about torture or tattoos or whatever boring bullshit was going on…
oh ya i watched this, didn't know we were logging it. incontrovertible evidence that UNCHARTED would work as a UPN show circa 2003
Nathan Fillion, this dude's like 50 years old and 300 pounds, you guys would really buy him Super Mario triple-jumping through a cave full of exploding mummies or whatever? and Stephen Lang is cool but the fact that Powers Boothe passed away before he could slip into Sully's loafers makes me wanna sink my life's savings into the Peter Cushing ROGUE ONE technology just to see The Big Man light up that cigar and crack wise
A walking contradiction. Wants to deconstruct superhero movies in a metatextual way but sticks stringently to origin story formula; wants to appeal to a teenage demo with its juvenile dick joke humor but is stuffed to the gills with pop references for thirtysomethings; wants to be seen as a big bad R-rated comic book film but treats violence as flippantly as a bullshit video game. It's obnoxious. It's boring. It's aesthetically revolting. And it's apparently what the people want, given that it's now the highest-grossing R-rated film of all time. We get the world we deserve.
Important that Chappelle's climactic callback is to his pitch for a superhero who is powered by sexual assault - "he rapes, but he saves," Dave reminds the roaring crowd. It'd be easy to dismiss this comeback set as dated politically incorrect ugliness, with Chappelle gleefully running the gamut from racism to homo/transphobia to Bill Cosby, but there's an underlying thoughtfulness to every bit, an interest in the complexities of human nature and behavior that makes for more than hollow provocation.…
