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  • Carrie

    Carrie

    ★★★★★

    Maximum utilization of the possible situations surrounding a single event — prom — imbuing it with maximum tension and suspense. No wonder Tarantino is such a fan of this.

    I was waiting for that last jumpscare and it still got me. I still think this film has probably the greatest payoff in any movie, ever.

    It’s famous in part because it’s a story defined by its end, meaning you tell the whole thing when you talk about it. It’s a…

  • Psycho

    Psycho

    ★★★★★

    Van Sant’s camp recreation of Psycho is commonly criticized for not adding anything to Hitchcock’s film. But this criticism glosses over the fact that we must be knowing audience members for it to be true, which is a fact Van Sant readily anticipates. To me, this always felt more like a camp recreation of Psycho than a remake, despite its fidelity to the source. I would argue it works entirely because we know Hitchcock’s film inside and out; it’s clear…

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  • Psycho II

    Psycho II

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Less a revisit to Psycho than an adaptation of its legacy. Amid a slew of crossdressing killers and with the slasher subgenre beginning to wane, Perkins returns to the Bates role with something that I really did not expect. It’s as if twenty years of growth and being out from under Hitchcock’s overbearing authorial nature resulted in something much more personal for Perkins. I always liked his performance in the first film, but I’ve never been able to really get…

  • Selfie Dad

    Selfie Dad

    The title. The poster. The movie completely lives up to that. Represents a completely unhinged display of lifeless Hollywood comedy filmmaking seeping its way into Evangelical Christian cinema. Like seeing something projected from another dimension, one where Michael Jr. is a big star and literally any moment in this film is comprehensible to the average moviegoer…finally a completely horrific Evangelical Christian movie that I almost respect for its sheer defiance to grant us any sort of relief for its 96-minute…

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  • Spiral: From the Book of Saw

    Spiral: From the Book of Saw

    ★★★½

    My friend and I rode the bus for almost an hour and a half because none of the nearby Regals were open yet. Like many others, I’m sure, this was my return to a theater after probably my longest break ever, and I know that doesn’t mean much — legitimately who cares? — but it was really something else when the AMC forewent the usual twenty minutes of trailers and my near-empty Friday afternoon auditorium was hit with the Twisted…

  • Hereditary

    Hereditary

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The theater was rowdy. Everyone was clearly on the same page as me that this movie was just super boring if taken at face value. The highlight of the experience came from the big moment when the daughter gets decapitated — not because the moment was particularly affecting, but because while her head was still in motion, a man sitting behind us remarked, “Charlie done got her head knocked off!” and the entire theater erupted into laughter. After that it…