Rambo: Last Blood ★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

So what happened between Rambo (part 4) and Rambo: Last Blood?? And I don't mean story-wise regarding John's life. I mean between the ultimate joy I had watching Rambo in a theater with my brother on one of the most memorable movie-going nights ever, wrapping up a sweet brotherly history of watching all the Rambo films together throughout our lives, to the depressingly sad and disturbing display that occurred during this filmed turd?

Was it me? Am I to blame for giving the last film a pass for its cardboard cutout, racist caricatures of villains; a film of exploding meat-men who answer for their villainy with their own spilled entrails?

I wish I had the time and the tools to make an edit of this film where Rambo builds, constructs, and sets up the greatest and most excellently designed traps, traps that never fail, in his series of personally built underground tunnels, with perfect weapon placement throughout, and cut to him sitting on his porch in his rocking chair, dying of old age waiting for an enemy who never arrives.

And on that note, how could Stallone call this Last Blood if John Rambo doesn't die? As I watched Rambo repulsively cut out our main villain's heart, I daydreamed of watching the rumored Rambo 5 film where he fought a scientifically-augmented creature instead of this lame bloodbath of the most basic revenge tale that we got here.

Chris liked these reviews